Sybil Bruncheon's "Who'z Dat?"... Happy, Happy Birthday to PINOCCHIO (February 23,1940)...

On February 23rd, 1940, Walt Disney's PINOCCHIO was released to theaters by RKO Radio Pictures. It wasn't just the children who sat thunderstruck at the visuals, imagination, and deeply moving story of a little toy that wanted to "be real".... When Monstro the Whale swept onto the giant movie screens of America with surging waves and tiny seagulls skittering out of the way to emphasize the appalling scale, when the ironically named Pleasure Island towering over the boys began to whirl into a terrifying nightmare of glittering lights and donkey-ears, and when the final resolution of death and transfiguration took place with the Blue Fairy and Jiminy Cricket standing by, gasps, screams, and tears flowed freely...

Whatever Disney's personal issues and prejudices were, his ability to mobilize the great talents that made one iconic piece of art after another at his studios remains fixed. 82 years later, even the stills from this and so many of his other films are spellbinding... "Cartoon"??? "Cartoon"... The word is laughable...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "What Ever Happened To???.... LADY ELAINE FAIRCHILDE??"....

True Story! Lady Elaine Fairchilde from "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" fame fell on fairly hard times after the passing of Fred Rogers and the end of the series. Her drinking problem had been obvious for years, even to the pre-K crowd. Children who visited the set complained that Fairchilde "smelled funny" and would say strange words ...backwards. Her on-air make-up had become more erratic or non-existent, and her complexion began to be more disturbing and even repulsive. At one point, an unruly stagehand pinned a large picture of Karl Malden on her dressing room door with a note stating that her "twin brother" was coming for a visit! The cast was very excited until it was revealed that it was a prank....and that Karl Malden in fact was prettier. 

Fairchilde was often claimed to be the illegitimate child of J.P. Morgan and Carry Nation.... After the series ended, she offered to do after-school recitals and safe-sex shows for grade schoolers using poodle-balloons and confetti guns, but the U.S. Department of Education barred her for life from appearing within a 100 yard radius of any school ....even obedience schools for pets.... She now lives quietly in The Screen Actors Retirement Home For Novelty Performers & Actresses Made Out Of Alternative Materials. She is estimated to be 118 years of age, but only because a tree surgeon counted the rings in her leg when he reattached it after her drunk-driving accident last year. She enjoys collecting paperweights with embedded insects, reciting haikus about crumbled leaves, and baking cookies for The Paul Bunyan Trade School Fair. Her boomerang has been confiscated….permanently. 

(postscript: This bulletin just in. It appears that Lady Elaine Fairchilde may have had a checkered past as a young…er…woman, whatever, in Hardscramble, North Dakota. It seems she was an inveterate shoplifter of discounted lip sticks, rosacea concealers, spackle, and Crayola crayons at the local Woolworth’s and spent much of her teen-age years in the Fargo Reformatory for Inconsiderate & Disquieted Ladies. After her release at 21 years of age, she began a downward spiral of abusing alcohol and/or drugs, possibly absinthe, mescal (including the worm!), and crème de menthe either drunk or snorted along with crack cocaine, heroin, and Lemon Pledge.)

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "In Memoriam"... Charlie Horse...

...in observance of the Oscars, the "In Memoriam" section of the evening is always very moving. Reflecting on those members of the industry who have passed away; and those who may have died young, perhaps even at the height of their fame, I felt it was important to mention some of the lesser "CELEBRITIES WHO LOST THEIR LIVES PREMATURELY!!"...

...Shari Lewis' association with Charlie Horse (April 3, 1951 - December 15, 1965) ended after years of alcoholism, hospitalizations, and shoplifting of mascaras, hair brushes, and small household appliances on his part. Increasingly unreliable at performances and even violent towards both Lamb Chop and Hush Puppy, his co-stars finally got an order of protection against him for “flannel battering” and felt trampling. He wasted vast amounts of money gambling on horse races that he was discovered to be throwing himself!... Later, he vanished for 6 weeks during pilot-season and was found dead in the alley behind F.A.O. Schwartz clutching a stained lint-brush and an empty jug of Woolite by his side. Judging by the mildew on his terry cloth, he had probably been dead for several days... His family asked that charitable donations be made to Anti-Glue causes in lieu of silk-flowers... His rubber nose was donated to the Smithsonian. His hat was possibly stolen by a farm-hand… or Mr. Green Jeans.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "In Memoriam"... Bunny Rabbit & Mr. Moose...

 ...in observance of the Oscars, the "In Memoriam" section of the evening is always very moving. Reflecting on those members of the industry who have passed away; and those who may have died young, perhaps even at the height of their fame, I felt it was important to mention some of the lesser "CELEBRITIES WHO LOST THEIR LIVES PREMATURELY!!"...

… Bunny Rabbit (1952 - 1987), a staple of the iconic "Captain Kangaroo" franchise was the victim of a bizarre and horrifying lovers' quarrel tragedy involving a bunch of carrots and a Crock Pot. Unable to have an open casket memorial, his large family had him cremated and then scattered his ashes over Farmer McGregor's estate in Malibu. His lifelong friend, co-star, and fellow vegan Mr. Moose was gunned down by the former Governor of Alaska... in what she claimed was a "huntin' accident"…

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "In Memoriam"... Oliver J. Dragon...

... in observance of the Oscars, the "In Memoriam" section of the evening is always very moving. Reflecting on those members of the industry who have passed away; and those who may have died young, perhaps even at the height of their fame, I felt it was important to mention some of the lesser "CELEBRITIES WHO LOST THEIR LIVES PREMATURELY!!"...

...Oliver "Ollie" J. Dragon (1944-1959). Tragically, Ollie was killed when he was thrown through the windshield of the brand new Corvette convertible owned and driven by his co-star Kukla (Tuckerman) as they traveled down Mulholland Drive and collided with a Good Humor truck. Kukla was arrested and declared drunk at the scene. After a three week stay in the Beverly Hills Doll Hospital (on the Millicent R. Velveteen Ward), it was revealed that he was paralyzed from the waist down and would be forced to be carried around by an attendant and to wear a diaper concealed by a flannel nightgown for the rest of his life. At his trial, the jury's sympathy resulted in him only being fined for killing his friend and co-star. To this day, Kukla speaks against drunk driving from his wheelchair at county fairs, 4H Clubs, and at pie-eating contests. He lives quietly making soap sculptures in Sepulveda which he sells from his own eBay store. Fran Allison still refuses to talk to him.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "In Memoriam"... Farfel (P. Barkelson)...

...in observance of the Oscars, the "In Memoriam" section of the evening is always very moving. Reflecting on those members of the industry who have passed away; and those who may have died young, perhaps even at the height of their fame, I felt it was important to mention some of the lesser "CELEBRITIES WHO LOST THEIR LIVES PREMATURELY!!"...

...Farfel (P. Barkelson) (1950-1961) was killed when his co-star Jerry Mahoney and Mahoney's gay lover Danny O'Day backed over him in their driveway on the way to a meeting with their managers Jimmy Nelson and Paul Winchell. At the time it was rumored that Farfel was being paid more than the combined salaries of Mahoney, O'Day, Nelson, and Winchell put together. No charges were pressed however. The death was ruled an "unfortunate accident". Police discovered though that Farfel had possibly been abused sexually by the group on an ongoing basis by the old collar marks on his neck and the large leash collection they found in the mansion's soundproof basement. The coroner also found evidence of dog biscuits laced with barbiturates in Farfel's stomach. But still no charges were filed. O'Day, Mahoney, Nelson, and Winchell left the country shortly afterwards and years later opened a chain of gay guest houses in Mykonos, Provincetown, and Key West.....

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "In Memoriam"... Mortimer Snerd...

...in observance of the Oscars, the "In Memoriam" section of the evening is always very moving. Reflecting on those members of the industry who have passed away; and those who may have died young, perhaps even at the height of their fame, I felt it was important to mention some of the lesser "CELEBRITIES WHO LOST THEIR LIVES PREMATURELY!!"...

... Mortimer Snerd (1938-1952): Accidentally sawed in half during one of Edgar Bergen's amateurish 'comedy-magic' routines. The courts found Bergen guilty only of man(nequin)-slaughter and sentenced him to 30 days with time served and 43 hours of public service in a lumber yard first aid station, removing splinters from lumberjacks' hands. Charlie McCarthy was named as an accessory, but was considered a minor and his record was expunged... although later it was discovered when counting his rings, that he was in fact 158 years old... Tragically, Snerd was neither buried nor cremated. It was revealed by the Hollywood press that he had been "pulped" and used as the morning edition of The Beverly Hills Tattler. He became the only celebrity in history to have his obituary printed on his own remains...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Aren't People Funny?"...episode #212 : Myron Karblonsky.....

Myron Karblonsky had always been a fabulously entertaining person, even as an infant! Musical, with nearly perfect pitch, he quickly surprised his parents by picking up the piano at 3 years of age singing along with his talented relatives and neighbors in the Lower East Side neighborhoods around Rivington, Mott, and Hester Streets in NYC. By the time he was six, he had already become a featured performer in the Yiddish Theatres and music halls. He could tap dance, play the ukulele and piano, juggle, do acrobatics, and had learned how to do elaborate tricks with ventriloquism. His voice finally changed at 15, and he came upon the great gimmick that made him a major star in Vaudeville, landing him onstage as one of Florenz Ziegfeld's biggest draws. He created an act where he and his dummy were from different social classes!!... a source of great humor and satire for the audience's entertainment! ...and he still managed to honor his father and grandfather before him! He performed onstage as a kosher deli owner dressed in his Papa's butcher's apron! ...and his dummy was named Lord Sneedleton, a rich customer from 5th Avenue!!! For years, audience members couldn't get over how ridiculously funny Lord Sneedleton was, or how "lifelike"!! Myron Karblonsky retired at 67 years of age and moved to Boca Raton with his lovely wife Molly (formerly Melinda Shlemeister of the Shlemeister's Mahtzo Maker Company) They had no children, but kept Lord Sneedleton in a glass case in his original tuxedo with mothballs in the pockets... and the key to his old trunk on a silver chain around his neck... 

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