SYBIL'S "Aren't People Interesting?"....

SYBIL'S "Aren't People Interesting?"...... today, we visit the Chapel of Our Lady Of Perpetual Vapors..... Did you know that the Little Sisters of the chapel there hold their vows of chastity so dearly, that they shut themselves off from ALL contact with the temptations of the outside world. They are not allowed to shake hands or even to BREATHE the same air as workmen who come to make repairs on the grounds.... The Mother Superior, Magda Immaculata Lysol-ette was quoted as saying, "Men! MEN! Rough, hairy beasts with grabby-hands and only one thing on their minds!.... or is it, Hairy-handed things with one beast roughly on their grabby minds..... or maybe, mind that one grabby thing he's holding in his rough beasty hands!....whatever....".... The sisters adhere to a stringent vow of poverty, supported by a diet of beans, cauliflower, and broccoli....

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...and today in the news!... the Harrow family...

...and today in the news, there was both triumph and tragedy in Carrington Corners, Iowa. Mr. Donald Harrow and his lovely wife Madeline were celebrated at the National Scouting Jamboree last night in Des Moines when they and their four sons were honored as the most accomplished family in the history of the organization. Their badges, patches, and special merits have never been matched in the Scouts 108 years. Seen here at the banquet are Donald and Madeline flanked by their sons (clockwise from lower left) Jebediah, Enoch, Simon, and Murray. Sadly, after the banquet, the family was plunged into disaster.... Murray, apparently was disgruntled about a Muffin Sciences patch that he lost to his brother Enoch. Murray, on the other hand, had a record-breaking number of awards in fire-starting and making locks.... There were no survivors. 

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Sybil Bruncheon's "HOLLYWOOD HISTORY ON THIS DATE!".... February 9th, 1931...

... Like so many other children of the Depression, little Spiffy Markle had been brought by hopeful-but-desperate parents to California in the hope that he might become a star. Blessed with good looks, a naturally cheerful disposition, a lovely singing voice, and a keen understanding of Shakespeare (his prekindergarten production as KING LEAR had the New York critics swooning!), he seemed born for the silver screen. His screen tests with Buster Keaton, Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin, and the Barrymores were stellar. And so he made the rounds with his parents from one studio to another for interviews.... Warners, Columbia, RKO, Universal.....Unfortunately, here he is at the lesser ranked "Really Swell Pictures Studio" being photographed by Pete the Panda.

The session went smoothly, unlike the photo shoot the previous day at MGM when the studio's lion tried to EAT little Spiffy while he photographed him. Louis B. Mayer was mortified...  Sadly, Spiffy's career floundered in the Really Swell Pictures Studio attempt at the children's market. They never matched the success of the OUR GANG films, with their "POOPY-PANTY PLAYHOUSE", although some of the musical numbers were well imagined....and of course, Spiffy's voice was actually heard in the "talkies". His transition into adult pictures never really worked either. 

Tragically, Pete the Panda became a "booze hound".....he began bootlegging cheap liquor he made from fermented bamboo that he got imported especially for "religious and dietary traditions" and the US State Department "looked the other way". He was so lovable, and very popular in the "Un-BEAR-able Comedies" he starred in the 1920s and 1930s. He ended up in a sanitarium in 1945. Spiffy left the studios and went on to sell real estate in San Bernardino.... but he never forgot his old studio-mate and first friend at Really Swell. He rescued Pete, and they made a killing in the bamboo patio furniture craze of the 1940s!..... You see? There actually ARE a few happy endings in Hollywood... 

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Cold enough for ya'????

...ah, yes... The forlorn Bureau of Winter Despondency. Citizens report to the Chamber of Dates to witness the days crawl by, one after the other, on and on and on... The snack bar, which is open at indifferent hours at the whim of a disgruntled staff, serves week-old donuts and lukewarm coffee with some powdered creamer and maybe a stubbed out cigarette butt... or some old gum... The place smells of mildewed galoshes and moth balls...but... well... that's Winter for you! ...oh, and that sound you can just barely make out?... that's the sad tick, tick, tick, of the clock... Nope!… it's not even February yet.....

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Sybil Bruncheon’s Tales & Tails... a tragedy! ...and a lesson...

......sadly, little Billy's head was never properly house-broken.... his parents later abandoned him on a roadside near Waterville, Ohio on his 8th birthday... he was not wearing a collar or identification tags, and it's believed that he was "put to sleep" at the local ASPCA a week later... 

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Hollywood TRUE STORIES!"....

....after Popeye and the Disney gang signed an agreement, they went on a rampage of arson, extortion, kidnapping, bribes, Ponzi-scams, smash 'n' grabs, knifings, and cheap-cologne bootlegging. Their reign of terror included the infamous blowing up of Heckle & Jeckle's woody station wagon as they were leaving for church last Sunday. There were no survivors. (Police are still trying to determine if Tweety Bird and Woody Woodpecker were the as yet unidentified passengers in the back seat! Details at 6. Film at 11.) 

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Interesting People": Vladimir! ...and Natalie!!

...poor Vladimir! He grew up in a time and place that didn't understand his predilections, his desires, his deepest secret, and the journey he wished to take! Where to go? Who to even ask??? And how would it be accomplished? Even in this new century, with all its new marvels and scientific discoveries, was it actually possible to become the person he was meant to be? Fortunately, his family were members of an ancient and respected imperial court located in an out-of-the-way corner of the Balkans. The name is not important, and the principality was one of dozens tucked "cheek-by-jowl" in a constantly bickering and conspiring area of the mountainous Eastern European wilds. Finally, a nice theatre and ballet professor that Vladimir had had at Acting Camp suggested a Dr. Victor Phrahnkenshteen in Bavaria who was making breakthroughs in revolutionary eye-lifts, nose reductions, tummy tucks, and ....um, more. Six months later, Vladimir re-emerged like the rare "Moldavian Purple Caprice" butterfly. He, or rather "she" (her new name was Natalie Dragomiroff!) took her place in royal society as a person of great influence in the arts and sciences, in fundraising circles and events, and at great galas and pageants! Her pet causes included the Bosnian Blood Drive, The Wallachian Wolf Welfare Society, and improvements in railway safety.

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I WANT YOU.......

HEY, FRIENDS!!...do me a favor, will you? Share this poster with everyone on your page! Every one of you, please share this with every single person on YOUR page! Please don't just "like" it! SHARE IT!! It really isn't an option this election year for people NOT to vote. I don't care how "frustrating it all is"! I don't care how "mediocre all the candidates are"! I don't care about all the other blah! blah! blah! that people use as an excuse not to participate in this world of ours. I'm a pain-in-the-ass, I know! But I insist that the people I know join in and do their part to keep the world spinning forward, not backward. Register! AND VOTE!...Period! Thank you!!

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Interesting Lands Around the World"..... Brr-JeeJee.....

...in the far off kingdom of Brr-JeeJee, the citizens are of the hardiest stock on Earth. They live in a nearly permanent world of Winter from mid-August to late May! They would be champions in international Winter sporting events and the Olympics, but sadly, they often are completely snowed in during those months, and travel in and out of their remote country is impossible. Their glaciers, in fact, are the only ones in the world that remain completely stable and are great tourist destinations during the Midnight Sun Festivals of June and July when the Jet-Set come for suntanning at 3AM.... Although the country is a constitutional monarchy, the Brr-JeeJeeians are extremely fond of their young monarch, Princess Ice-Zolda Freejidara IV. She oversees all sorts of charity and public works, sets a beautiful example in her manners and her breeding, and only wears accessories which have never been collected through cruelty to animals and have only been gathered off the ground ....preferably away from areas of "yellow snow"....

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Sybil Bruncheon’s Stories for Grown-up Children: CARLA & THEO......

...it had all started in the nursery. Little Carla had heard her rocking horse say that he wanted to ride off like other horses he'd seen in Carla's picture books. They didn't just stay in one place going up and down... they ran and ran and ran, as hard as their joyous legs would carry them. He could tell by the little painted pictures that there must be a strange freedom that makes you push as hard as you can sometimes when you're in the sun, and the wind is blowing, and the grass is cool and green, so very green under your galloping hooves, and you feel bigger and stronger than you really are, and you're full of something that only you can know, and that’s only YOURS TO KNOW...

Carla had been standing behind the edge of the bookcase and heard him telling the other toys... or at least the toys that would listen. Her roly-poly clown had stood perfectly still (for a change!)...with no incessant chuckling (also for a change!). He had listened to every word, especially about the running! "Imagine!" he finally whispered. "To be able to actually RUN from one place to another! As fast as you could ever, ever, ever go! Even if it was to the point where you might break!...or fly apart! To run and fly apart from the joy of running that fast just ONCE!... oh, how I wish I could do that!"... A pull-toy dachshund standing by nodded...how fast did he ever run?...really?? If he wasn't being pulled, he didn't run at all.... nor did the little pull-toy fire engine. Or the quacking duck.

At the tea table, all of Carla's dolls, from the larger ones that said words like "mama" to the dainty ones from other lands made of china stared down at their cookie plates and tea cups...and said nothing. Their appetites had left them... One of them cleared her throat uncomfortably. What did they know of running? Running could be fatal… It was at that point that Carla had shifted slightly, and the floor by the corner of the tall bookcase creaked. All discussion stopped!. And everyone turned to see... yes, it was Carla. The toys all fell silent...well, except for the tea party where all the dolls began chattering about scones, and Earl Grey vs. Lap Sang Su Chong, and the embroidered monograms on fine napkins.... but Carla wasn't fooled... nor were any of the toys. They knew she had heard. And she knew that they knew...But that's how it sometimes is between friends...even the best of friends... things are left unsaid.

And so, later, when it seemed everyone was asleep, Carla slipped out with Theo, and confided in him. He was her closest friend and her best secret-keeper. What could she say to a roomful of toys who all longed to run away...?? What could she ever do to make them know that she was just like them? …really, just like them... Even when she went out to play, she already knew that people, living people, could only run so far...and only so fast... and not forever... Theo looked deeply into her eyes...he leaned forward and put his paw to her lips. He drew close to her ear ...and whispered...

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