Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!" ..... Home, Sweet Home....

...and so, the kindly old witch called in a contractor to do some repairs around her house. It was a wonderful old place that had fallen a little into disrepair, but now, with her sudden..."windfall", she was able to fix everything perfectly. Unfortunately, it was Maryelle Perkinson who'd found out about the details! Nothing seriously disreputable, just questionable enough in the wrong hands to cast scandal and suspicion on an elderly woman with not enough money to hire lawyers and press agents to "fix" her reputation in a cynical world like ours!!.... Oh, why did Maryelle have to cause trouble?...and then to take such delicious delight in lording it over her during tea on that rainy Thursday?? Her sly insinuations, her veiled threats, and finally, her open demands for a "pay-off"... a pay-off every week until nothing would be left! How infuriating!...and unfair! The kindly old witch had never caused anyone any trouble and indeed had been a source of good-magic and help to the surrounding villages... But no! Maryelle was adamant!.... And that's why, as she carefully lifted the piping hot scones on the cookie sheet out of her huge oven that the kindly old witch got her idea. Funny..... the nice contractor and his crew of rough-handed and jolly workmen said they'd never worked on a job where they'd been so well fed week after week... till the roof, the windows, and that lovely kitchen were completely done! And the kindly old witch sent them all home with tins full of her famous scones on the last day! She waved to all the nice men as they drove off. And they loved her dearly..

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"..... My eyes! MY EYES!!!...

Friends! Are you one of millions of Americans who dreads coming home after a long day at the office??.... Is your home restful and inviting?....or jarring and tension-filled? Do you fly off the handle at your children? Your cleaning lady? Your pets? ....Think! Maybe it's your WALLPAPER!!!!.....

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Sybil Bruncheon's Fall-Weather Crafting!!!...the good-ole "Rope Trick"!

….Facebook Friends!! Well, Darlings, if your travel plans fall through, or the soufflé goes flat, or the club date cancels, or ...(well, you get the idea!) why not do some home improvement projects? Mummie got very energized while she muted the television and put on some Muzak....and this is one that I LOVE! I recreated that fabulous old look of wrapping a steam pipe with rope to make it far less dangerous with the return of cold weather. This bathroom, (or indeed ANYWHERE in the home!), aesthetic just screams the 1970s to me!… and that's so much better than screaming because you've backed into a fiery hot pipe while drying off in November. Let me tell you, you just haven't lived till you've done it, and perhaps even melted to the pole as well...OH YES! There I said it! Horrible!! The best way to accomplish the look is to use 3/8" Manila rope although others have used 1/4"....and you'll need about a 150' length of it to wrap a standard pipe about 7' high. I did mine in three 50' lengths that I tucked in as I continued wrapping up, not down! And look inside the shower! I hung beautiful brass hooks to hold wet gym clothes fresh (or NOT so fresh!) from a work-out! A quick rinse, a spray of Febreze, and they dry out before tossing them in the hamper with everything else! I tell you Darlings! Busy hands are truly happy hands! …and this Summer when the steam pipes are OFF is when to do this project, NOT when they're back on again and you're wringing your hands about procrastinating again!...oh well. Here's a great link on how to do the rope trick!! Enjoy! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/436708495086864805/

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Sybil Bruncheon's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"... at Kringlestein's!...

I want to thank my pal Tommy Thomas for digging up this old photo of me.... I was only about 4 and back then parents were always dragging their children off to professional photo studios in major cities to commemorate birthdays, holidays, etc. Imagine how much fun it was to be photographed down on Broadway and 14th Street right down the block from Luchow's where we'd just had lunch. I sat on the little box for Mr. Kringlestein at the Kringlestein & Kampfer Rotogravure and Fine Photographic Arts Studio. He'd told me to sit very still while he slid each glass plate into the camera and exposed them to the light from under his hood..... I was perfect at holding each pose while my parents shouted encouragement and the servants brought ice cream and treats... and then, when we were all finished!... Imagine nice old Mr. Kringlestein's surprise when I just flew right out the window!!... apparently it took 20 minutes to bring him back to life, and my father had to pay him off to keep his mouth shut... although after 20 minutes in full cardiac arrest, he was never really intelligible again... 

… good times ...ah, good times…

(postscript: For those of you wondering what my identical twin sister Dagmar was doing during this photo session, she had made her own costume earlier in the day. She had decided she wanted to be a goat. Enough said. Right?)

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"... Hungry???....

Dateline Hollywood!!!... It was revealed today at the Beverly Hills Sanitarium For Emotionally Inconvenienced Celebrities that beloved star Jack Skellington had succumbed at some point to his anorexia nervosa. Suffering from the eating disorder and the shame that attends it, Skellington had been on a roller coaster of binge-eating, purging, bulimia, weight loss, and finally cheap and life-threatening gastric bypass surgery in Ecuador...(or was it Akron?....whatever). He was found this past weekend, lifeless on the floor of his hospital suite, surrounded by handfuls of candy corn, stale Easter marshmallow peeps, and a lethal mix of regurgitated Dr. Pepper, candy hearts, Victozas, and Smith Brother cough drops (the menthol ones!).

A priest was called to administer last-rites and offer communion with licorice Necco wafers...but Skellington was pronounced dead on the scene. All Hollywood is in mourning. The coroner stated that there literally was NOTHING left of Jack’s torso.... Always very svelte and chic in his films with a body like Fred Astaire, he had no body weight to spare. His funeral procession through Los Angeles was a time to reflect on his profound talent and the deeper layers of emotion that he brought to his craft and the characters he portrayed. Denied an Oscar several times, he may receive one this next year "in memoriam" for his robust civil rights commitment to both fruits AND vegetables appearing together in the same films. Skellington's iconic movies include JULIUS CAESAR!... SALAD that is!!! (1932), 18 CARROT GOLD (1938), YOU SAY CELERY, I SAY SALARY (1946), THEY CALL ME MISTER POTATO HEAD! (1964), and Stephen King’s THE GREEN STYLE (1999). They will be shown in a special film festival at the Farmer's Market on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. Bobbing for apples, hayrides, and a campfire for S'Mores will be offered to mourners... Donations to the ASPCA are requested in lieu of ears of Indian corn...

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"... Eeeek!....

Many of you have asked me about my years doing horror films at the Hammer Studios in London with Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Barbara Shelley, and the rest. Here’s a publicity photo from the horror musical THE SPINSTER SPINS HER WEB (1958) with the opening number “Stop Staring At My Legs!” directed by Busby Berkeley, (and involving thirty-six platinum blondes as house-flies buzzing around my web. Sadly, the overhead camera kept getting caught in the strings!) My costars were Evan Dalrymple as Baron Hugo Dumpp, Glynda-Lee Salvo as Rose-Marie Harrow, and Giles Pinque as The Town Ruffian. Sadly, production was shut down for two months while our director/producer Hadley Phroot was recovering from a dessert of clotted cream that had gone quite bad in the players’ canteen! Several of the chorines thought it was cold cream and had it all over their faces! The production unfortunately never recovered…. The little that was filmed was later stolen and spliced into nudie-stag films and shown at shriners’ weekends and in burlesque houses as novelty shorts before the live acts came onstage…. Glynda-Lee was so traumatized by the ridicule that she attempted suicide by eating fourteen boxes of Louis Sherry chocolate-covered cherries in one mad weekend. She succeeded only in getting a very bad rash…. And spending eight days in hospital on a calamine drip…..

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!" ...and now, some culture!

"Alahs, Porrr Yorrrick! I knew heem, Harrratio! Whattah a moosic he maked!! BWAH HA HA HA! --- what! Dat ees not dee lines?? Den dee Shockspear ees a beeg dope! Bwah HA HA HA HA!!... and zo ees dat Borees Kareloff!! FOKE HEEM ahnd dee SHOCKSPEAR!!!".

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"... Nightmare Update:

Dateline Hollywood!!...Movie star and leading man Mr. Freddy Krueger has announced that he's leaving the film-world frenzy and moving his three adorable children to Santa Barbara for the fresh air and some open ground. He was quoted at a press conference as saying, "I don't want my kids growing up in some city high school where they're exposed to the wrong kinds of people, especially among custodial staff workers! The language alone is shocking, and there's always an air of violence and snarkiness in school restrooms and basements, isn't there?". To celebrate the move, Krueger has already purchased a Shetland pony, a miniature carousel and Ferris wheel, and a complete carnival midway with shooting galleries, freakshow and novelty tents, and hired performers like fortune tellers, geeks, tattooed ladies, Siamese twins, and a knife thrower!! Sounds like the kids are going to have a SCREAM!!!....

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Sybil Bruncheon's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!".... Toons!! What are ya going to do???

...after Popeye and the Disney gang signed an agreement, they went on a rampage of arson, extortion, kidnapping, bribes, Ponzi-scams, smash 'n' grabs, knifings, and cheap-cologne bootlegging. Their reign of terror included the infamous blowing up of Heckle & Jeckle's woody station wagon as they were leaving for church last Sunday. There were no survivors. (Police are still trying to determine if Tweety Bird and Woody Woodpecker were the as yet unidentified drumsticks and thighs in the back seat! Details at 6. Film at 11.)

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!".....What's Cookin'???

Ladies! At this time of year with Halloween parties and costume galas being planned left and right, it can be difficult to find good "help", and you might be short-handed for staff to help with your entertainment arrangements! But that's NO excuse to cut corners! If you can't find waiters at your local catering companies, it's perfectly acceptable to have our four-legged friends help us serving food and bartending! Just make sure that they thoroughly wash their paws, claws, and hooves before touching food in the kitchen or making cocktails! And be very sure that they wash thoroughly after using the bathroom! You don't want your guests to think that you live in a BARN!!!

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