The Glass Is Half-----??????

A well-known proverb states that an OPTIMIST would say a glass is half full, while a PESSIMIST would say it is half empty. ...but what would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.
The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.
The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass were in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half of anything?
The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"
The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts: one a colorless, odorless liquid; the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus, the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.
The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.

....and do you know what MUMMIE would say??.... "This glass is NOT the fine stemware we serve our guests! Take it BACK to the pantry and bring out the champagne flutes! Now, GO!! GO!!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmases In Other Places!”…

..."HO! HO!! HO!!!!.....Hello, fellow citizens of Zrrg^*ljjqutt#<jej^sh! In my intergalactic travels at Holiday time, I have found a little planet inhabited by delicious snack treats. Let us enter our space ships and descend on the unsuspecting people there! Come my friends! I will disguise myself in this silly red and white costume to lure them forward into our traps... And then… Let us EAT!! EAT!!! KILL AND EAT THEM!!! ..... oh, and don't forget to bring extra eggnog!"....

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Tales From The Past": The Story of Mercy Milde...

... a rare photo of the much-beloved ecdysiast "Mercy Milde"... known for the generous display of her ...um.. "talents" to lonely servicemen during the war, especially at Christmastime! She performed in all the various theatres of "Gaiety" along the Vronsky, Minsky, and Schneidelmann circuits. She was unable to say "no" to a handsome pair of eyes, a shy smile, and a military uniform!... whether it was the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, or the Marines! Although she never made as much money as most of the other circuit-girls did (and for far more than they ever gave their clients!) she nonetheless was infinitely more respected and cherished by the men who knew her... She had been around the world at least 13 times, spoke fluent Italian and French, ate off china that had belonged to Austrian royalty, and served tea in sterling that had been in the palace of a Venetian prince. Her three Braques, eight Picassos, four Cezannes, and a Miro all stimulated admiring conversations and merry anecdotes... and twenty-three museums begged her for her stunning basalt statue of the Egyptian cat-goddess Bubaste dating from the 19th dynasty and said to have belonged to Ramses II himself... Her great heart and luminous soul provided everything and anything that one could wish for.... she never pretended to be other than what she was. Her word was her bond.

She lived to be 97, dying peacefully in her sleep after a happy life free of illness and worry. She was kind to children. Loving to strangers. Adored by dogs. And greatly respected by cats (who on occasion even admitted that they loved her!!!... when they were in the mood to be candid)...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "People In Poetry"…… page 38. "Cindy and Her Friends"...

Cindy tossed a bramble in,                                                                                And Josie threw a stick.                                                                                            Maxie heaved his baseball bat!                                                                                He didn’t “give a lick”!

Basil said he’d bring a chair!                                                                                   And Petey looked askance!                                                                                      Perhaps his grandma’s davenport                                                                           Might make the fire dance!

A neighbor boy from Liar’s Lane                                                                             Screeched and laughed and laughed.                                                                      Marcie thought him quite insane,                                                                             But threw in a wooden raft.

A breeze picked up and carried smoke                                                                   And sparks both far and near.                                                                                  And townsfolk noticed something wrong.                                                                 “Does something smell quite queer?”

The flames began to lick the grass,                                                                         So dry from Summer’s drought.                                                                                And spread to all the nearby shrubs!                                                                       Too late to put it out!

The children screamed and ran away.                                                                     They knew that they’d done wrong!                                                                         But Cindy said it HAD been fun,                                                                             And Josie sang a song!

Maxie ate a candy bar                                                                                             And shared a piece with Pete.                                                                                  And Marcie kissed the neighbor boy.                                                                       She thought him rather sweet!

And then the children formed a club                                                                       And marched right into town.                                                                                    But no one came to say Hello!                                                                                 You see, they'd burned it down.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!... The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series; THE WOMEN (1939)...

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

THE WOMEN (1939): Olga, the manicurist, is fired from the salon for causing yet another scandal among high-society ladies (her 47th warning!!!).... she has managed though to save tons of money from her 25 cent tips and has opened an illegal bookie operation in her basement out in Far Rockaway. Investing her money in a home-made 'beauty cream' called Madame Olga's Blemish-B-Gone, she builds an empire in the 1940s, and licenses 216 Madame Olga's spas across the country through the 50s, 60s, and 70s. She dies at 103 years of age, the first woman billionairess in the United States. Coincidentally, Mrs. Sylvia Fowler ends up selling Avon products door-to-door in Toledo.... she marries a used car dealer named Morris Prowler.... she gardens ….fairly successfully.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series; HUSH... HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (1964)...

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

HUSH...HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (1964): Charlotte Hollis is released by the police because of Jewel Mayhew's letter of confession, and the subsequent information about the attempts on her sanity and life by Dr. Bayliss and Cousin Miriam. She takes all the money from her buy-out by the state highway authority and her own personal fortune (much larger than anyone had suspected!), and being Miriam's only living relative, her inheritance of Miriam's entire vast estate. She escapes her past and goes to Hawaii (newly granted statehood!) where she opens a beautiful little bed and breakfast called the Maison Velma on Maui. Insurance investigator and ally Harry Willis joins her, and in the sunset years of their lives, they fall in love and live happily ever after…. Harry runs a shop making grass skirts, flower leis, and amusing little coconut brassieres employing local parolees, many of whom had lost limbs in tragic love-triangles…and music-box misunderstandings.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series..... A STAR IS BORN (1954)...

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on...

A STAR IS BORN (1954): Vicki Lester, after introducing herself as Mrs. Norman Maine, leaves the stage to deafening applause, cheers, and people fainting in joy and empathetic grief, and climbs into the back of her limo....alone. She goes home, makes arrangements to sell everything, and changes her name back to Esther Blodgett. Taking her millions of dollars and her Oscar, she leaves for Palm Springs and opens an animal shelter/rescue center for unwanted poodles and mixed-breeds, and the odd orange tabby cat, and lives out her days as best friends with Doris Day, Stefanie Powers, ....and Tippi Hedren..... eventually, the entire operation is left to Betty White....who outlives them all and starts a cosmetic line of facial moisturizers for collies.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series..... ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)…

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)… Eve Harrington leaves the following morning for Hollywood with Phoebe in tow as her "assistant". She does indeed get a film…or two a la "The Ten Commandments"; trashy 'sandal and spear' melodrama/spectacles, but NOT deep art. As films begin to give way to television, she bounces from one two-season loser to another, and finally does sad monster movies about giant bugs or rabbits in the 1960s... Her money begins to run out so she opens a gardening center/bed and breakfast with Phoebe near Russian River, and they raise Shetland ponies for petting zoos and shopping center openings.

Despite their unpromising character flaws and early behavior, they somehow stay together and even marry in old age when LGBTQ marriage-equality rights become available.

(An interesting side note; it’s revealed that in 1976, Addison DeWitt was murdered in an alleyway by the same pizza-deliveryman/hustler who later killed Sal Mineo. DeWitt died the same day that Eve’s Sarah Siddons Award was trampled by an enraged llama during an 8 year-old’s birthday party…

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Sybil Bruncheon's "People In Poetry"…… page 78. "My Facebook Friend"...

My Facebook Friend never said “Hello”. Never clapped or cheered or wished me well. When I posted news or luck and such, He was never there to say, “That’s swell!”

He didn’t “like” my brand new job, my dog, My hat, my hefty raise, My move to Perth for three whole months And back again for the Holidays.

And not a peep when I met the boy Who then became my greatest love. Nor not a tear when I lost my joy, And he left this Earth for clouds above.

But my Facebook Friend posted ev’ryday And told the world his latest stuff. His rants, his raves, he stubbed his toe. No newsy thing was small enough.

He found some lint, he burned a cake! He cut his hair, and changed his vote. And we, the people, standing by Should clap our hands, or at least take note!

I’d laughed, and cried, and cheered, and “liked”. I’d clicked the Angry face and Sad. I’d praised and flattered like a fool. When he stubbed his toe, I’d felt real bad.

And then one day, I saw the light. At last, I knew I was just a prop. A thing to support my Facebook Friend. I faced the truth. It had to stop.

So late one night, so dark and deep. While moon shown high and Facebook slept, With MACs and PCs sound asleep. I pressed “Unfriend”. Away I crept.

And have I missed a single post? His so-called wit, his hearty heart, His learning, skill, his lint, his toe. Have I missed his news? No, not a fart.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA! The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series... SUNSET BOULEVARD. (1950)…

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950): Shortly after her arrest for the murder of the unfortunate script-writer-gigolo Joe Gillis, Norma Desmond is vilified by the public as a self-indulgent and ridiculous has-been tossed aside by the studio system that had worshipped her 30 years earlier. Sentenced to a mental institution for being "emotionally inconvenienced during the commission of a Class A felony", she is treated with extensive electro-convulsive therapy along with insulin-shock, ice baths, and prolonged sitting in front of a mirror while being forced to make funny faces and lip-synching to Gene Autry records. Finally she is released on good behavior, and she retires to Malibu where she opens a health-food and “yoga-with-yogurt” spa. She changes her name to Normaste Desmond... and lives to be 98. Max continued to work for her... at the juice bar...

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