SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series; HUSH... HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (1964)...

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

HUSH...HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (1964): Charlotte Hollis is released by the police because of Jewel Mayhew's letter of confession, and the subsequent information about the attempts on her sanity and life by Dr. Bayliss and Cousin Miriam. She takes all the money from her buy-out by the state highway authority and her own personal fortune (much larger than anyone had suspected!), and being Miriam's only living relative, her inheritance of Miriam's entire vast estate. She escapes her past and goes to Hawaii (newly granted statehood!) where she opens a beautiful little bed and breakfast called the Maison Velma on Maui. Insurance investigator and ally Harry Willis joins her, and in the sunset years of their lives, they fall in love and live happily ever after…. Harry runs a shop making grass skirts, flower leis, and amusing little coconut brassieres employing local parolees, many of whom had lost limbs in tragic love-triangles…and music-box misunderstandings.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series..... A STAR IS BORN (1954)...

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on...

A STAR IS BORN (1954): Vicki Lester, after introducing herself as Mrs. Norman Maine, leaves the stage to deafening applause, cheers, and people fainting in joy and empathetic grief, and climbs into the back of her limo....alone. She goes home, makes arrangements to sell everything, and changes her name back to Esther Blodgett. Taking her millions of dollars and her Oscar, she leaves for Palm Springs and opens an animal shelter/rescue center for unwanted poodles and mixed-breeds, and the odd orange tabby cat, and lives out her days as best friends with Doris Day, Stefanie Powers, ....and Tippi Hedren..... eventually, the entire operation is left to Betty White....who outlives them all and starts a cosmetic line of facial moisturizers for collies.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA!....The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series..... ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)…

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)… Eve Harrington leaves the following morning for Hollywood with Phoebe in tow as her "assistant". She does indeed get a film…or two a la "The Ten Commandments"; trashy 'sandal and spear' melodrama/spectacles, but NOT deep art. As films begin to give way to television, she bounces from one two-season loser to another, and finally does sad monster movies about giant bugs or rabbits in the 1960s... Her money begins to run out so she opens a gardening center/bed and breakfast with Phoebe near Russian River, and they raise Shetland ponies for petting zoos and shopping center openings.

Despite their unpromising character flaws and early behavior, they somehow stay together and even marry in old age when LGBTQ marriage-equality rights become available.

(An interesting side note; it’s revealed that in 1976, Addison DeWitt was murdered in an alleyway by the same pizza-deliveryman/hustler who later killed Sal Mineo. DeWitt died the same day that Eve’s Sarah Siddons Award was trampled by an enraged llama during an 8 year-old’s birthday party…

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Sybil Bruncheon's "People In Poetry"…… page 78. "My Facebook Friend"...

My Facebook Friend never said “Hello”. Never clapped or cheered or wished me well. When I posted news or luck and such, He was never there to say, “That’s swell!”

He didn’t “like” my brand new job, my dog, My hat, my hefty raise, My move to Perth for three whole months And back again for the Holidays.

And not a peep when I met the boy Who then became my greatest love. Nor not a tear when I lost my joy, And he left this Earth for clouds above.

But my Facebook Friend posted ev’ryday And told the world his latest stuff. His rants, his raves, he stubbed his toe. No newsy thing was small enough.

He found some lint, he burned a cake! He cut his hair, and changed his vote. And we, the people, standing by Should clap our hands, or at least take note!

I’d laughed, and cried, and cheered, and “liked”. I’d clicked the Angry face and Sad. I’d praised and flattered like a fool. When he stubbed his toe, I’d felt real bad.

And then one day, I saw the light. At last, I knew I was just a prop. A thing to support my Facebook Friend. I faced the truth. It had to stop.

So late one night, so dark and deep. While moon shown high and Facebook slept, With MACs and PCs sound asleep. I pressed “Unfriend”. Away I crept.

And have I missed a single post? His so-called wit, his hearty heart, His learning, skill, his lint, his toe. Have I missed his news? No, not a fart.

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SYBIL'S CINEMA! The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series... SUNSET BOULEVARD. (1950)…

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950): Shortly after her arrest for the murder of the unfortunate script-writer-gigolo Joe Gillis, Norma Desmond is vilified by the public as a self-indulgent and ridiculous has-been tossed aside by the studio system that had worshipped her 30 years earlier. Sentenced to a mental institution for being "emotionally inconvenienced during the commission of a Class A felony", she is treated with extensive electro-convulsive therapy along with insulin-shock, ice baths, and prolonged sitting in front of a mirror while being forced to make funny faces and lip-synching to Gene Autry records. Finally she is released on good behavior, and she retires to Malibu where she opens a health-food and “yoga-with-yogurt” spa. She changes her name to Normaste Desmond... and lives to be 98. Max continued to work for her... at the juice bar...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Those Holidays That Went to HELL!".... Poor Millicent!

Poor Millicent! Not all that popular in high school, and never having any adventures like other girls her age, she one day was finally asked by a distinguished older baron from Upper Silesia to go for a weekend on his zeppelin! It was all so exciting! And GLAMOUROUS!...Soaring over the continent and dining on quail and caviar with the finest champagnes! But what was she to do when suddenly they started dropping bombs on nearby Heidelberg?...especially right after the dessert cart had been wheeled out... and the baron had offered her a cigar???... and a “cuddle”!

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Sybil Bruncheon's Favorite Films!..... HARVEY (1950).....

HARVEY (1950). Perhaps one of the most definitive Jimmy Stewart roles using his aw-shucks shuffling 'n' flustered persona to its fullest, teetering right on the edge of being lovable or cloying depending on your own proclivities. Co-starring a dazzling Josephine Hull...(DAZZLING!), Jesse White (before he made his fortune with Maytag washing machines!), Cecil Kellaway (one of the greatest character actors of all time, treading the finest line of comedy and near-tragic poignancy here), and a host of others who fill this film with as much color and life as other golden-age comedies like DINNER AT EIGHT, ARSENIC AND OLD LACE, and THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER. If you've never seen HARVEY before, I wonder if you'll feel an impossible-to-ignore lump in your throat as the story unfolds.... it may seem fluffy and foolish along the way, but the deeper message, especially in the face of how the "real" world had unraveled, cuts deep. The close call of Elwood's "therapy" is so strangely timely now too, with our 21st century society's desire to eliminate the special, the rare, the individual, the hand-made, the eccentric, the non-conformist. For me, it's another one of those stories that breaks my heart... every time. To the very last frame, and the very last twist in the plot, as the irrepressible Jimmy Stewart escorts us down the lane and off to the land of deeply happy endings.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "30 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!"... Hello? May I help you?…

... Hello? May I help you?…

.. yes, Ma'am, Savory Stuff 'n' Stuffings! I'll connect you!

...no sir, you'll want Cranberries and Cran-Derivatives, I'll connect you!

Hello Miss, yes, we DO serve vegan-nudists, Oblong-Vegetables-As-Entrees, I'll connect you!...

Hello, Sir... yes, we do have a Yammering-About-Yams Shop, I'll connect you!...

Yes, ma'am? Ah, yes you'll want Scented-Candles-And-Their-Other-Uses, I'll connect youuuuu...

What is it, sir? Yes, we have a Perky-Pilgrim-Costume-Department, and yes, with the entire alphabet in scarlet felt! Oh, yes! Several different fonts! Check with the printing department, I'll connect you!

Hello, ma'am, yes! We have a complete line of stocks; chicken, beef, and...OH! THAT kind of stocks! Yes, AND handcuffs, you'll want to speak to our Housewares and Founding-Fathers-Hobby-Crafts manager, Mr. Standish! ..what?... Oh, I'm SURE they have dunking stools! I'll connect youuuuuu...

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “My Merry Memoirs!”…ANGELS IN AMERICA..... filming in the East Village in 2002...

There I am with George Brescia outside my own trailer on the set for ANGELS IN AMERICA (2003). We were shooting in the East Village with Jeffrey Wright and Justin Kirk!...Later Emma Thompson showed up to say hello, and sat with George and me and chatted about her marriage to handsome Greg Wise, her sweet daughter Gaia, and SENSE AND SENSIBILITY. Oscar winning costume designer Ann Roth had coffee in my trailer while she decided what I should wear to the funeral scene, and chose one of brilliant milliner Maria Stefanatos cocktail hats for me. We were titled the "black & white couple" by Mike Nichols who put us in several scenes and travel shots.....oh! And I almost forgot! You might be wondering who I played in ANGELS IN AMERICA...... well, technically, I played "myself". Nichols wanted nightclub and disco celebrities from the 1980s, and my great friend Royale de Pines arranged for me to get the "star treatment". After all, Mummie was rampaging weekly at all the big clubs, emceeing special events, fundraisers, and galas, and appearing on three different cable TV shows simultaneously! (I'm so lucky that I used all those astringents and moisturizers from Erno Lazlo!!....I could still play myself as a young, dewy-eyed girl!!....um, even though I was in my...uh, late 20s.....)....One of my favorite memories of the whole thing was Mike Nichols greeting me in the churchyard in front of the entire cast.....we were the last to arrive on that first morning because of a limo-glitch, and Mr. Nichols rose from his chair with a huge smile, held out his hands, and in a big voice said, "Sybil Dahling! Now we can begin!" His warmth and sense of humor were everywhere on the set and directed to everyone in the crew and cast!...and always with that merry twinkle in his eyes! Truly he was a giant and a genius in the arts.... and with a heart to match!....a rare combination.

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A New Sybil Bruncheon's "WHO'Z DAT?"... NED SPARKS (November 19, 1883 – April 3, 1957)

            Darlings! Mummie has made a decision! After reading dozens of posts and having hundreds of conversations with well-meaning folks who just don't know about the great CHARACTER actors who gave films the depth and genius that surrounded and supported the so-called "stars", I am going to post a regular, special entry called SYBIL'S "WHO'Z DAT?"....there'll be photos and a mini-bio, and the next time you see one of those familiar, fabulous faces that you just "can't quite place".......well, maybe these posts will help. Some of these actors worked more, had longer and broader careers, and ended up happier, more loved, and even wealthier than the "stars" that the public "worships". (I think there may be a metaphor in that! What do you think???). Well, while you’re mulling it over, that ruckus you here in Mummie’s foyer is none other than the irreplaceable NED SPARKS (November 19, 1883 – April 3, 1957).

             Known for being a nasal-toned, deadpan, cigar chewing comedian, Sparks was born Edward Arthur Sparkman in Guelph, Ontario, Canada. He left home at age 16 and attempted to work as a gold prospector in the Klondike Gold Rush. After running out of money, he quickly abandoned the hard work and cold, and took advantage of his mellifluous tenor voice to sing in saloons, carnivals, tent theatricals, medicine shows, and the like, where he was billed as the “Singer of Sweet Southern Songs,” performing in a straw hat, bare feet and short pants. At age 19, he briefly attended a Toronto seminary but left almost immediately to work for the railroad and then in a theater in Toronto. In 1907, he left for New York City to try his hand in the Broadway theatre, where he appeared in his first show in 1912. While working on Broadway, Sparks developed his trademark deadpan expression while portraying the role of a desk clerk in his first film LITTLE MISS BROWN (1915). His successes both in the film and onstage soon caught the attention of MGM’s Louis B. Mayer who signed Sparks to a six picture deal in silent films. Off the stage, Sparks stood up for better working conditions for his fellow actors. He deplored the low wages, abuse and demeaning treatment of actors, joining in New York’s theatre strike in 1919 against the big producers for better wages. These actions led to his being blacklisted for months. His career took a short tumble for participating, but he became one of the founders of the Actors Equity Union. Sparks returned to the stage by 1920, appearing with such comic performers as Robert Woolsey, Leon Errol, Joe E. Brown, and Harry Langdon. In October 1920, Sparks, Brown, Langdon, and Frank Fay starred in JIM JAM JEMS, a musical pastime proclaimed for its “exhilarating humor” and “enjoyable entertainment.” The show sold out four weeks in advance.

            In 1923, Sparks moved West. He acted in shorts that fall, and performed with the Lambs’ Club at the Hollywood Bowl in the summer of 1924. Joining the Masquers’ Club, filmdom’s version of the Lambs’, Sparks performed in REVELS with director Fred Niblo, and comedians Lloyd Hamilton and Roscoe Arbuckle. In the 1920s, his silent-movie career had been going full steam, but with the advent of sound, his “talkie” debut in THE BIG NOISE (1928) was a big hit. It was Ned's cynical delivery, nasal tone, raspy whines, and sour disposition that clinched his iconic film niche. The Hollywood Filmograph called him, “undeniably, the shining light of the cinema.” When Sparks signed a long-term contract with RKO in early 1930, it stipulated that he could sit in on story conferences and make suggestions regarding comedy situations and lines in both the Masquers Club two-reelers and features in which he appeared. Thanks to his squawky voice and gaunt, glaring face Sparks finally came into his own. It was during this time that he secretly married Mercedes Caballero, sister of Charles Caballero, head of Fox Studios’ Purchasing Department, on Oct. 10, 1930, keeping quiet for months about it. They seldom appeared in public, but Sparks was never a social butterfly away from work anyway.

          The marriage soured by 1933, with Mercedes suing for cash, claiming that he was making $6,000 a month. Sparks countersued, claiming Mercedes’ dog bit him and  his friends, and that the dog chased him out of bed. He claimed she thought more of the dog than him. In early December, Sparks was ordered to pay her $200 a month. (Their acrimonious suits and countersuits back and forth continued to plague them both through to 1936 and strained their finances.)

          Throughout the 1930s, Sparks became known for his dour-faced, sarcastic, cigar-chomping characters. His appearances in big 1930s musicals like 42ND STREET , GOLD DIGGERS OF 1933, and GOING HOLLYWOOD, all released in 1933(!) cemented his reputation as the beloved “grouchy sidekick”. He also appeared in 1933 in ALICE IN WONDERLAND as the hookah-smoking caterpillar with Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Edna May Oliver, May Robson, W.C. Fields, and Edward Everett Horton. Fellow comedians like Jack Oakie called him the greatest scene stealer, noting, “Ned was deadly.”  In 1934, he appeared with Claudette Colbert in IMITATION OF LIFE, one of his few dramas.

           He became so associated with the type that, in 1936, The New York Times reported that Sparks had his face insured for $100,000 with Lloyd's of London. The market agreed to pay the sum to any photographer who could capture Sparks smiling (Sparks later admitted that the story was a publicity stunt and he was only insured for $10,000). Sparks was also caricatured in cartoons including the Jack-in-the-Box character in the Disney short BROKEN TOYS (1935), and the jester in MOTHER GOOSE GOES HOLLYWOOD (1938), a hermit crab in both Tex Avery’s FRESH FISH (1939) and Bob Clampett’s GOOFY GROCERIES (1941), a chicken in Bob Clampett’s SLAP HAPPY PAPPY (1940) and brief unnamed appearances as himself in Friz Freleng’s Warner Brothers cartoon MALIBU BEACH PARTY (1940), and Tex Avery's HOLLYWOOD STEPS OUT (1940). A radio favorite over the years, he performed alongside Bing Crosby quite frequently. His last Hollywood role would be alongside Jimmy Stewart in MAGIC TOWN (1947).

          Before retiring to a ranch in Victor Valley, California to write his memoirs, Sparks did make a few guest appearances on television in 1950, as his agents at William Morris looked for a possible TV starring vehicle for him. During his life, Sparks had appeared in ten stage productions on Broadway and over 80 films. At the time of his retirement, he apparently cut off virtually all contact with his friends and associates. He died on April 3, 1957, of an intestinal blockage, supposedly survived by a daughter Laura, though there was never any earlier mention of her. When he died only seven people attended his funeral. He was buried in Victor Valley Memorial Park.

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