Sybil Bruncheon's "Just my opinion... BUT!"...

Sybil photo by Jack D. Pedota, styled by Susan Suka Taylor

1) Jar Jar Binks is one of the most loathsome characters in the history of fiction. Tedious, incoherent, and physically too ugly to live... as though Jabba the Hutt had finally taken a sh*t after two weeks of constipation... and it decided to talk.

2) Urkel... clear evidence that one last attempt was made in the 20th century to create a Steppin' Fetchit minstrel character to insult African Americans' intelligence and culture, (apparently with cooperation from some of them themselves...)

3) Aunt Alicia was right! "Bad table manners, my dear Gigi, have broken up more households than infidelity." Travel the country and watch how people hold their forks... and chew.

4) Perhaps this covid epidemic and all the obsession over cleanliness, contamination, and the transmission of germs and disease will finally convince people to keep their filthy feet off publicly used furniture and seating, especially in airports and in Starbucks!... then again... probably not.

5) The death penalty is not much of a penalty. We ALL die eventually, and most of us die rather badly. Very few people die peacefully in their sleep at a great old age, after a long, healthy, and problem-free life. So if we really want to punish someone, give him a life sentence in an appalling place with excellent medical care but unending squalor, deprivation, and despair... among his own kind.

6) Now that humans have developed simulated violence as entertainment, we watch "real housewives" instead of gladiators or chariot races. Their forlorn misadventures and mischiefs are like all reality television; a combination of metaphorical sword fights, joustings, fiery car crashes, and disembowelments. Sadly, we still seem to need "Ultimate Fighting Championships" and bullfighting.

7) All intelligence is not a matter of what one knows, but what one is curious to find out. The greatest minds through history have been insatiably curious, and usually felt at the end of their lives that they knew so little, and were filled with an overwhelming desire to learn more. Avoid anyone who is the dead opposite of this, especially in politics... or in your family… or in mine!

8) Kindness can be found anywhere and everywhere, and under the most surprising circumstances and from the most surprising sources... unfortunately monstrous cruelty can be found under exactly the same parameters. I have no idea what this means. But one must be ferocious... and be ready to do great and terrible things for one's loved ones… and for the causes one cares about.

9) It's better to know the worst in a situation, make arrangements and strategies that will serve you, and hope for the best in case things turn out better than you expected. In any case, remember to be Present, to be Mindful, and to be Grateful. Everything around us is Borrowed... only Borrowed.

10) In my experience, it seems that people through history who lived very long lives, weren't necessarily better off or even "happier". Indeed, many of them seem to have been full of turmoil, conflict and struggle, but... they all seem to have "burned" for something. They burned brightly for things they cared about. They were committed to things that mattered. They lived authentically and vividly, often at odds with most people around them. They had light coming out of them, and did not require others to provide their light, their truth, or their purpose... or even to validate the mystery of their existence... interesting.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Current Events QUIZ!"...

TRUMP as a roast chicken.jpg

Which of the following headlines, opening lines, stories, and news sources goes with this photo?

a) The American President Addressed Foreign Dignitaries From The Great Poultry Producing Nations of the World. They cackled at his claim to have "the moistest and tenderest breasts of any president ever!". (from the Iowa G'Morning Standard)

b) CBS Headquarters Attacked By An Enraged Jim Gaffigan… who claims to have lost his job on CBS’s SUNDAY MORNING due to excessive corniness in his pun-riddled monologues. (NBC's TODAY Show with Hoda Howdie Ho)

c) The Lincoln Tunnel Suddenly became a giant sinkhole as Hurricane Jaime-Maria-Santa-Loquasta-Jesus-Bañana barreled into midtown NYC. 210 Dead. 4 injured. 17 late for work. (The Weather Channel with Jim Cantore... if we can find him a box of Kleenex)

d) In yet another sequel in the unending GODZILLA franchise, the iconic monster has returned from Malibu as a bleach blond and eaten Jane Russell on an ocean voyage. Still famished from the poor restaurant service and menu, he finishes off twenty-three shirtless hunks on the Olympic Mens' Interpretive Dance Team. Set in 1959, there's lots of perky musical song and dance numbers including "I'm A Seoul Survivor", "They Call Me MISTER Bigly", and "Orange You Glad To See Me?"... directed by Joshua Logan (hence all the “shirtless hunks”) - Variety

e) Delicious Low-Carb, Low-Fat, and Gluteus-Free, Free-Range foods that you can raise in your own garage or basement that will feed the family... or feed ON IT. It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes ONE of these to eat one! Six scrumptio-licious pages with police photos of tonight's dinner! YUM! (Bon Appétit Magazine - the July issue)

f) I Am The Genetically Engineered Love-Child of Frank Perdue and Colonel Sanders (The National Enquirer)

g) Today in the news, Martha Stewart was returned to womens' prison for her unauthorized or acknowledged use of Parkay in a brownie recipe she plagiarized from Julia Child's best selling dessert book "These Are A Dead Women's Treats", published post mortem. (Food Network)

h) Can you find the fire truck, the beach ball, the billy goat, the cocker spaniel, and the banana, and the lady with the axe?

i) All of the above

Answers on page 63. (Highlights Magazine)

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