It's "Sybil Bruncheon's Games Galore" from Highlights Magazine... in your dentist's office!

Hi there, Boys and Girls! Are you waiting to go into the nice dentist and have him hurt you? You're very scared right now, aren't you? Well, look over at your Mommy or Daddy! They're probably smiling at you and saying, "Don't be afraid, sweetheart."... well, don't be fooled! They get scared sh*tless themselves! Don't believe me? Tell THEM to go FIRST! That'll settle their hash!... while you're waiting, let's play a funny little game! Look at these photos and match the caption that goes with each one... what does "caption" mean? It's a story-ette! Does that help? Here ya go...

a) Three nice ladies have just broken out of Women's Prison after machine-gunning four guards and the warden. They raided a drag-bar and stole three pretty luncheon outfits from the star, Boom-Boom Big-Barbara Bailey, and decided to have root beer floats before they shoplift some mascara and lipsticks from the notions counter... and rob a bank.

b) Miss Friskie, happens to be a kitty from another planet... but then 93% of all the kitties on Earth are aliens. That's why they act the way they do... and kitties that are actually from the Earth are considered stupid, lazy, drooly, and desperate for attention by their alien brothers and sisters. They're called "dogs"...

c) Mr. Wilbur Henderschott of Plumpton Falls, Ohio has just gotten home from the barber shop and seen what Happy Frank did to his hair! "Oh no!" he thinks. "All the people in the company cafeteria will make fun of me because I look like Alfalfa!"... sadly, Wilbur has a complete schizophrenic breakdown and is taken away to the Akron Institute of Electro-Convulsive Therapy & Wellness... you know the one?... with all the rooms with rubber-padding?… and afternoon pudding!

d) Sam just got home from the office. He'd been called into the special room where a friendly lady gave him a pink slip and said that he should get a cardboard box from the mailroom to pack his things. He parked his car in the garage and remembered that he'd left the ladder out to fix some shingles on the roof this weekend. Now he can do something else up there.

e) A man came over to visit a Mommy during the day while the Daddy was away on a business trip. The man and the Mommy told the children to go out and play for an hour and gave the children an egg timer from the kitchen so that they would know NOT to come home till the little bell rang. Everything was very nice until the Daddy remembered that he didn't kiss Mommy "good-bye". He turned his car around and came back to the house. Later, the hat was the first thing the police saw when they stepped over the bodies.

f) Two ladies watching a scary monster movie didn't notice that their man-friend has swallowed his tie and is choking. Sadly, the Heimlich Maneuver hasn't been invented yet. And the Mormon Church will be very angry that they didn't save their "blesséd lord and master".

g) Do you remember what you did last year? Last month?... or even yesterday? That's why people keep a diary! That's a book where boys and girls can write down fun and funny things they do every day, sometimes with crayon pictures of friends doing naughty things or just cartwheels... but with no clothes on. And don't forget to always put the date down with each memory... and even the time and place, in case the police ask later.

h) Do you like to play cards? Sure, who doesn't? But sometimes Grandma might teach you a new game like Cribbage, or Canasta, or Rummy, or Strip poker, and then change the rules right in front of you. I hate when that happens, don't you? That's when some children push Grandma off the stepstool while she's getting down the cookie jar... the one with the fig newtons and the "silly-cigarettes".

i) Do you know a friend who likes to be a boy one day and a girl the next? Sure, who doesn't? And maybe YOU like to be a girl and a boy, sometimes at the same time and with a name that works for both... even in a cemetery.

j) Have you ever done a puppet show in your backyard! Lots of children do, and they write their own stories and make all the props, scenery, costumes, and puppets too. Some plays are about a tea party, or pirates, or a tea party with some pirates who act like ladies, or a janitor with an ax. Sometimes the puppets have parts that break off... or catch fire... during the tea party late at night. What sounds like fun to you?

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Current Events QUIZ!"...

Which of the following headlines, opening lines, stories, and news sources goes with this photo?

a) The American President Addressed Foreign Dignitaries From The Great Poultry Producing Nations of the World. They cackled at his claim to have "the moistest and tenderest breasts of any president ever!". (from the Iowa G'Morning Standard)

b) CBS Headquarters Attacked By An Enraged Jim Gaffigan… who claims to have lost his job on CBS’s SUNDAY MORNING due to excessive corniness in his pun-riddled monologues. (NBC's TODAY Show with Hoda Howdie Ho)

c) The Lincoln Tunnel Suddenly became a giant sinkhole as Hurricane Jaime-Maria-Santa-Loquasta-Jesus-Bañana barreled into midtown NYC. 210 Dead. 4 injured. 17 late for work. (The Weather Channel with Jim Cantore... if we can find him a box of Kleenex)

d) In yet another sequel in the unending GODZILLA franchise, the iconic monster has returned from Malibu as a bleach blond and eaten Jane Russell on an ocean voyage. Still famished from the poor restaurant service and menu, he finishes off twenty-three shirtless hunks on the Olympic Mens' Interpretive Dance Team. Set in 1959, there's lots of perky musical song and dance numbers including "I'm A Seoul Survivor", "They Call Me MISTER Bigly", and "Orange You Glad To See Me?"... directed by Joshua Logan (hence all the “shirtless hunks”) - Variety

e) Delicious Low-Carb, Low-Fat, and Gluteus-Free, Free-Range foods that you can raise in your own garage or basement that will feed the family... or feed ON IT. It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes ONE of these to eat one! Six scrumptio-licious pages with police photos of tonight's dinner! YUM! (Bon Appétit Magazine - the July issue)

f) I Am The Genetically Engineered Love-Child of Frank Perdue and Colonel Sanders (The National Enquirer)

g) Today in the news, Martha Stewart was returned to womens' prison for her unauthorized or acknowledged use of Parkay in a brownie recipe she plagiarized from Julia Child's best selling dessert book "These Are A Dead Women's Treats", published post mortem. (Food Network)

h) Can you find the fire truck, the beach ball, the billy goat, the cocker spaniel, and the banana, and the lady with the axe?

i) All of the above

Answers on page 63. (Highlights Magazine)

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

SYBIL PREDICTS!!!... #53....

SYBIL PREDICTS!!!... yes, folks, it's that time again when I make my predictions for the New Year and those mysterious days lying ahead of us...

Prediction #53: As the country's Middle and Working Classes gradually become a massive impoverished throng milling about in the suburbs, all creature comforts and entertainment will vanish. Flat screen televisions will be used as cheese boards for non-existent hors d'oervres and crackers made from leaves, twigs, and top soil. People will be forced to return to conversation, humming songs, and drawing pictures on cave walls. Of course, some intrepid souls may attempt to start up new companies that specialize in diversions like party games! Here, a woman living near Park Avenue tries to recreate all the fun of Jenga for a New Year's Eve get-together...

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]