Sybil Bruncheon's "Fascinating and Funny Phenomena!"...

A cephalophore (from the Greek for "head-carrier") is a saint who is generally depicted carrying his or her own head; in art, this was usually meant to signify that the subject in question had been martyred by beheading. One of the most intriguing aspects of stories of beheaded saints is that they all continue to live and carry their heads much to the horror of their executioners and witnesses. They speak at length, walking about, visiting various places, quoting scripture and invoking all sorts of reactions from onlookers. Interestingly, headless people walking and talking predates Christianity and has occurred for centuries in cultures all around the world!... is it surprising that many of them have happened to perfectly ordinary persons in everyday life? Here are a few examples… 

1)   Princess Alexis of Heinen-Swizeisis – 1140 AD. At eleven years of age, she was accidentally beheaded during an axe-throwing game at her birthday party. She abruptly stood up, and, to ease the obvious discomfort of her guests and their parents, declared that it “was time for cake”!... Of course, unable to blow out her own candles (though she tried for several minutes) she invited everyone “to make a wish”. Afterwards during the gift opening time, she bravely tried on a charming bonnet and scarf set, tying a rather fetching bow just under her chin…A good time was had by all… according to the manuscripts…

2)   Sister Maigretta Alspeth Yonzagreeve of the Perpetually Forlorn Lamb of Woe Nunnery – 1213 AD. Sister May (an acronym of her initials) was head harvestress among the nuns in the abbey… at 6’7” she swung an energetic scythe when gathering the grains in the Fall. Sadly, a novice under her tutelage, carelessly swooped when she should have swiped, and her untrained blade took May’s head off cleanly on a sunny October afternoon. Despite the horrified shrieks of her sister-nuns, May briskly picked up her own head, cradled it into the folds of her habit, and firmly but lovingly admonished the ladies to continue their work as the day was coming to a close. The last of the grain was cut, gathered, and tossed into a wagon, and all the sisters retired for tea and biscuits before their evening prayers. Sister May made a brief report to the Mother Superior although she attached no blame to the young novice. She went to bed and slept well… tucking her head into a drawer by her bedside so as not to roll over it in her sleep. She was scheduled to conduct the morning devotional, but bowed out due to a sore throat.

3)   Duke Dragomir II of Eastern Rumelia – 1479 AD. Notoriously handsome and an able athlete, Dragomir was especially fond of contact sports enhanced by obstacle course challenges… the more risky, the better. His own personal favorite invention was the infamously violent Obstacle-Course Cross-Country Croquet Tournament. It was in the final quarter of the Montenegran Open during an overtime penalty when Dragomir was struck from behind by an opposing team member with his mallet. It certainly gave the term “sudden death” a whole new meaning. Dragomir, however, got right up, searched for his head which had rolled down a hillock (but was tossed to him by a jolly team mate), and being a notoriously good sport, invited everyone back to the clubhouse lodge for ale and mutton-pops… with skittle-beetle chips.

4)   Peter Gallego – 1929 AD. A nice family man and self-employed plumber in Queens, NY, Mr. Gallego built his small hands-on business from scratch after immigrating to the USA. Opportunites came his way in the sleepy and safe neighborhood of Broad Channel, made up of houses built on piers and separated by canals. It was during a particularly foggy morning in June that “Leaky Pete” (his nickname from affectionate neighbors) forgot to duck as he was speeding to a house call in his small outboard motor boat. Passing under the timbers of Wesauckett Walk and Breakers Blvd. his head was lopped off cleanly and sailed 40’ into the rolling wake. A passing lobster skiff saw what happened and scooped his still spluttering head up in a net, coughing up some sea water, but none the worse for wear. Indeed, Gallego invited the lobster crew back to the Giggling Mermaid for beers. It was there when several patrons saw what had happened that Gallego’s career changed completely. Obviously unable to continue plumbing, a friend connected to the Vaudeville circuit, suggested that Pete meet a comedian-ventriloquist named Señor Wences, whose puppet/dummies included a little boy named Johnny. When Wences met Pete, he immediately came up with an idea for a disembodied head in a box named “Pedro”… and the punchline for jokes when the box door would flip open?... “S’ALRIGHT”… Leaky Pete made a fortune and became a star on the Ed Sullivan show. 

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween Horror & Hilarity!… The Ninth Circle...

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Friends! There's so much prejudice against all sorts of preconceived notions...and one of the oldest and most entrenched is that Satan is a bad person, and that Hell might be an undesirable place... But in fact, did you know that in the Ninth Circle there is a cheerful tradition on every Tuesday where Satan himself plays their karaoke night for local talent? Yes! Always encouraging young people who need a break in the business, the Dark Prince is often on the lookout for "that special someone"!! Here we have Mrs. Florinda Gunn of Patootie Corners, Iowa during her debut solo "Melancholy Baby" with the Big Mr. S. on the ivories... Afterwards, Mrs. Gunn said she was nervous at first, especially with Satan at the piano ...and with so many of the audience holding pitchforks and red hot pincers. She also said she'd never worn such a revealing cocktail dress before, and in an animal print too!...certainly not at the ice cream sociables where she had that fling with Reverend Mooney behind the church... back when she was, um... well, still alive...

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween!… BEHAVE!!...

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The children were the best-behaved children in town... maybe in the entire WORLD! They knew that if they were bad, they would be sent up those stairs... and into the attic!... that's where Mommy and Daddy sent Grandma when she burnt the cherry pie... twelve years ago...

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween Horror & Hilarity!: "Hammer time"...

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.... DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1966)..... Jeeesh! I have such a love/hate relationship with the Hammer horror films... I've decided in my old age to surrender to it all as "an acquired taste". As with opera, mime, and kabuki, one has to suspend one's disbelief. I happen to love all of those various art forms, and they are all fanciful versions, shall we say, of “reality”. Once I decide to embrace Hammer's particular take on the vampire/werewolf/Frankenstein myths with their florid music, acting, writing, and that nearly florescent color process, I kind of enjoy them....sort of like the soap opera "One Life To Live", but set in Wallachia... with garlic and holy water… Okay. I've got my popcorn. Tell me the story!

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN: The Harleybones...

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The Harleybone sisters, Grace and Bryzella, ages 13 and 29, were known for their kindness to stray animals and elderly persons during the majority of the year. Later, they were discovered to have had a peculiar and finally deadly hobby on October 31st of every year. Police and Scotland Yard determined that their charitable "Hungry In The Fall" benefits and costume balls were provisioned by the sisters cooking all of the banquet delicacies and serving them at the Halloween events, attended by dignitaries and government officials. To everyone's horror, the entire banquet was made up of victims of the sisters' murderous crimes... although the stray animals and elderly persons seemed to really enjoy whatever they were eating!

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Breaking News from the CNN News Desk: Clowning around...

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Hollywood releases plans for another remake of Stephen King's IT and holds open calls for the role of Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Thwarting his cabinet's advice, the president declared that, as an actor, he had "great and unmatched wisdom" for auditioning. "After all, look how I played myself on The Apprentice... or the Sorcerer's Apprentice... or... whatever!".

Greeted by hooting, pointing, and raucous laughter, mostly by interns and cleaning staff, the president was turned away from the casting office as soon as he walked in, but he was offered a dinner theater tour of BLOW ME A POODLE-BALLOON, the musical biography of Twinkle the Birthday Clown who died in a fiery clown-car crash with 47 co-workers. The catastrophe nearly wiped out the entire children's birthday-party industry in the 1950s. The whole score is played on a calliope... and an assortment of trained-seal horns. Details at 6. Cream pies at 11.

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Sybil Bruncheon's Strange Tales That Stun & Stupefy... The Buick!

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Miss Sally Ann Pretherton had saved up all her money for the first new car she had ever bought. No more "hand-me-downs" from the Used-Car lots for her. She was tired of the smirking, the "accidental brush-ups", and the not-so-subtle innuendoes of the oily car-lot salesman who tried to hide their wedding rings as they quoted her prices they claimed were a "special deal just for her, cause she were so pretty"!

She had asked her Dad what she should buy, and he said the new 1958 Buick Special was the car for her! And she adored the fact that "Special" was the name of the model because that's just how she felt as her dad drove it off the lot with her in the front seat and her best friend Carla in the backseat! She looked out the window at the swinging strings of lights and the yards of plastic bunting and ribbons tossing in the wind on that sunny February day! Was there anything as magical as a new car, twinkling in the bright sunlight and with that new car smell, racing down the open rode with the whole world lying ahead of you.

And then after about a mile or so, her father, normally so steady and solid let out a shrieking laugh at the top of his lungs and a maniacal look in his glowing green eyes! He punched the accelerator to the floor, and the new Buick surged to its full power and screeched down the highway! Faster! Faster! Faster than Sally Ann had ever gone or imagined... and then Carla joined in in the howling laughter!... Sally Ann desperately clutched the dashboard and turned, begging, to her father but he had become some sort of fiend, a horrible drooling fiend with grey claws where hands should be, raking where his hair had been and twisting the steering wheel this way and that. Suddenly, Sally Ann felt the gleaming new Buick shudder and lift, yes, LIFT off the ground, off the highway and veer sharply to the left over the vanishing ground below! Now her whimpered pleas to her dad also turned to shrieks, but shrieks of terror and madness to be met in turn by the diabolical cackling of her inhuman companions!... and it was then or shortly afterwards that the Buick crashed head-on!… into the moon.

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween!!... Scary Screen & Scream Stars!!

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Hey, what’s Halloween without our favorite very-scary stars? Check out the Horrifying “Who'z Dats?” right here under the “Who’z Dat? tab… or check out the Halloween tab! They’re all waiting right there for you at the top of the page! Just click away!! BOOOOO!

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Sybil Bruncheon's 31 Days of Halloween... MUMMIE MEETS THE MUMMY (1931)...

... My appearance in MUMMIE MEETS THE MUMMY (1931), directed by Tod Browning. It was Hollywood's first foray into the musical-monster-comedy genre and the budget was huge. I played a terribly glamorous lady-archaeologist who discovers that she is the reincarnation of the first lady-pharaoh, Queen Ma-Hotsa-Totsa. I am reunited with my lover from 3000 years before, Kare-Lees, the high-priest of Heepsa-Hummus. Sadly, our relationship ended on the eve of our wedding, when my handmaidens caught him trying on my bridal trousseau and turning my favorite bath mat into a pashmina! And then Kare-lees was turned into a mummy all wrapped in ace bandages and buried alive! Can you imagine?

Well, the film was full of musical numbers, tanna leaves, of course, incense burners, pyramids, cats, camels, feasts, orgies, and lots of oiled up muscular slaves, loincloths, stranglings, poisonings, people walking sideways… that sort of thing... oh, and way too much sand that just got in everywhere… if you know what I mean!! And then that awful Hays Committee decided that the film had... um... "deviant and morally questionable overtones that might upset or confuse impressionable persons and young men of delicate sensibilities". I'm sure I don't know what they meant... although my hand-hammered solid gold snake brassiere was a little too loose. But that nice Mr. Adrian adjusted it so that it wouldn't fall off during my dance of the seventy-two veils... no matter how frisky I got. Ah, good times... good times.

(Sybil’s necklace designed by Arthur DeCaprio)

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