Sybil Bruncheon’s “CHRISTMASES PAST!”… Mr. Grangely... at the Donner Pass.

One of the aspects of an American tragedy never spoken of.... During a particularly brutal Winter in the mountains a large group of travelers was trapped without supplies in a remote place. As things became increasingly desperate and as Christmas approached, kindly old Mr. Grangely decided to make things more cheerful for the children and alleviate their fear. He cobbled together a Santa costume from an old shopkeeper's red coat and a discarded mop and taught the children a game. Each of them was given a number to put into the "special basket", and Santa would draw the "magic" number. The winning child would be given a ride with Santa on his "reindeer" on Christmas Eve to give presents to all the children in the world. The settlers and children would wave to Santa and the "chosen" child as they rode off into the snow and the night. Santa would return on Christmas morning with a piping hot dinner for everyone to sit down and enjoy! The year was 1847....and well... we all know how that turned out... (postscript: After the remaining survivors were rescued, Mr. Grangely never lost that haunted look in his eyes, although he did change his name to Monsieur Chou-Chou and became the world-famous sous-chef at Delmonico's. He died many years later at the age of 91. All Paris mourned... and Delmonico's closed for three hours!... during lunchtime!)  

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "My Merry Memoirs"... at Macy's...

Have I told you about my adventures with one of my favorite photographers over the years?? Lawrence Hunter was by my side for so many of those planned (and UNplanned!) moments in one's career! Here's one from a Macy's Holiday announcement from a few years ago!

MACY'S CHRISTMAS NEWS FLASH!!!....Hey, folks!!! Macy's apparently has had a board meeting of the top execs and decided that "the whole Santa thing may have run its course" as CEO Myer Saltmeyer said so bluntly on Friday morning. Granted he may have been inspired by their parade-Santa finishing the route in front of the store, jumping off the sleigh-float, running into the Gourmet Dainty Delicacies and Cheery Beverages Department and downing two bottles of Drambuie in 20 minutes flat! He then ran to Ladies Intimates & Naughties and stripped down to a pair of SnowFlake Pasties and a Sprig 'o' Holly G-String and did the man-mambo in front of four nuns shopping for roller blades. Mr. Saltmeyer called my agent who called me and presented their project:... A new Christmas character named, are you ready?... "ELFIE-Ba".... a mischievous little creature who listens to the Christmas wishes of children around the world and gives them lessons in etiquette, penmanship, mattress trampoline, fine dining and appropriate utensil usage, and moisturizing.

I think we're still going to be tweaking the basic concept and making adjustments! I'm not sure about the costume (though it IS jolly!), nor the decision to have the children line up on Macy's 6th floor at ELFIE-Ba's "pied-à-terre" (named "GAY Gardens"!) and sit beside her on a Louis XV chaise while servants prepare tea..."Earl Grey or Hu Kwa?" and croissants filled with Nutella... What do you think??

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil's "My Merry Memoirs"... with the Oompa-Loompas...

Have I told you about my adventures with one of my favorite photographers over the years?? Lawrence Hunter was by my side for so many of those planned (and UNplanned!) moments in one's career!

Here's one for all the Willy Wonka fans!!.... did you know that the Moomin House in Naantali is where the Oompa Loompas ended up after the Chocolate Factory was destroyed by Allied bombing...?? Well, it was... and I happened to have been doing a USO show nearby!...and the rest? ...well, is history! By the way, the Oompa-Loompas treated me much as the Munchkins treated Judy Garland.... (lots of dirty limericks, re-enactments of French postcards, pinches on the bottom, and offers of cheap cigars! You can tell by the expression on my face in Lawrence's photo, can't you?! JEEEESH!).

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil's "My Merry Memoirs"... with Dr. Seuss...

Have I told you about my adventures with one of my favorite photographers over the years?? Lawrence Hunter was by my side for so many of those planned (and UNplanned!) moments in one's career! Here's one from a Christmas television special... that almost was!!!......

Theodor Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) and I had known each other for years and traveled in the same circles in New York during the 40s and 50s. It was in that vein that, as television became bigger and bigger an entertainment medium, he suggested that I play a new character he came up with in the Christmas of 1956, "Mrs. Finch", a charming and slightly mischievous creature who would bring toys and treats for underprivileged children on Christmas eve in a flying saucer!!... from the planet Uranus!!! The concept ingeniously incorporated charity to the poor, social awareness, interplanetary brotherhood, and the birth of the space industry in the newly created NASA. Sadly, our sponsors at Nabisco felt that any mention of "Uranus" was ..."unappetizing for a brand of breakfast cereals and cookies", as Cuthbert Cubbins, the chairman of the board described it. This, despite the fact that the Nabisco logo had always reminded people of a flying saucer...and that "Nabisco" did NOT in fact mean "National Biscuit Company", but was an anagram for “Bascion”, a Gaelic word from the Renaissance that loosely translated to “ baked goods from other worlds” (the Irish always had a fanciful sense of so-called wee-people and the color green). Anyway, Theodor and I lost the argument, and the project was ..um... shall we say, re-imagined in a more conventionally acceptable way… although, the story became more of  a diatribe against J. Edgar Hoover, Roy Cohn, Joseph McCarthy, and the neo-fascistic metaphor of the Jolly Green Giant… but that’s a story for another time!

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "CHRISTMASES PAST!": Queen Elizabeth's Christmas Address in 1953...

….."Hello, my dear subjects! At this festive time of year, I am pleased to be speaking to you at my first Christmas as your Queen. Just last night, I was brought to a lovely re-enactment of the Nativity at a charming church in Havelock-on-Bunbury. At the end of the little play-lette, I walked up to the stage, and remember so well both the sweetness of that little baby and my SHOCK when I realized that it was being raised in a stable!!… A STABLE!... Can you imagine?! And in a MANGER!!!... with grass clippings! That had been on the GROUND!... and I SAID SO to his parents! Who were dressed very poorly, in what looked like bathrobes! And with no attractive accessories!‎... And WHY were there FARM animals milling about in there?? They are not hygienic!!!... all this milling and lowing!!!!, and NO SANITATION!... And at least have the sense to have EXOTIC animals around the child to stimulate his imagination!! Peacocks, and leopards, and… and....um...oh! A Gryphon!....and, oh what was that animal I shot in Kenya, Phillip??? Oh Yes!!!! A HYRAX!!!!... or was it an Ibex?....whatever! And what is that incessant DRUMMING?!?... have one of my ladies escort that dirty little boy OUT at once! Now Go! GO!!….."

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

The Glass Is Half-----??????

A well-known proverb states that an OPTIMIST would say a glass is half full, while a PESSIMIST would say it is half empty. ...but what would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.
The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.
The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass were in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half of anything?
The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"
The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts: one a colorless, odorless liquid; the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus, the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.
The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.

....and do you know what MUMMIE would say??.... "This glass is NOT the fine stemware we serve our guests! Take it BACK to the pantry and bring out the champagne flutes! Now, GO!! GO!!

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmases In Other Places!”…

..."HO! HO!! HO!!!!.....Hello, fellow citizens of Zrrg^*ljjqutt#<jej^sh! In my intergalactic travels at Holiday time, I have found a little planet inhabited by delicious snack treats. Let us enter our space ships and descend on the unsuspecting people there! Come my friends! I will disguise myself in this silly red and white costume to lure them forward into our traps... And then… Let us EAT!! EAT!!! KILL AND EAT THEM!!! ..... oh, and don't forget to bring extra eggnog!"....

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Tales From The Past": The Story of Mercy Milde...

... a rare photo of the much-beloved ecdysiast "Mercy Milde"... known for the generous display of her ...um.. "talents" to lonely servicemen during the war, especially at Christmastime! She performed in all the various theatres of "Gaiety" along the Vronsky, Minsky, and Schneidelmann circuits. She was unable to say "no" to a handsome pair of eyes, a shy smile, and a military uniform!... whether it was the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, or the Marines! Although she never made as much money as most of the other circuit-girls did (and for far more than they ever gave their clients!) she nonetheless was infinitely more respected and cherished by the men who knew her... She had been around the world at least 13 times, spoke fluent Italian and French, ate off china that had belonged to Austrian royalty, and served tea in sterling that had been in the palace of a Venetian prince. Her three Braques, eight Picassos, four Cezannes, and a Miro all stimulated admiring conversations and merry anecdotes... and twenty-three museums begged her for her stunning basalt statue of the Egyptian cat-goddess Bubaste dating from the 19th dynasty and said to have belonged to Ramses II himself... Her great heart and luminous soul provided everything and anything that one could wish for.... she never pretended to be other than what she was. Her word was her bond.

She lived to be 97, dying peacefully in her sleep after a happy life free of illness and worry. She was kind to children. Loving to strangers. Adored by dogs. And greatly respected by cats (who on occasion even admitted that they loved her!!!... when they were in the mood to be candid)...

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "People In Poetry"…… page 38. "Cindy and Her Friends"...

Cindy tossed a bramble in,                                                                                And Josie threw a stick.                                                                                            Maxie heaved his baseball bat!                                                                                He didn’t “give a lick”!

Basil said he’d bring a chair!                                                                                   And Petey looked askance!                                                                                      Perhaps his grandma’s davenport                                                                           Might make the fire dance!

A neighbor boy from Liar’s Lane                                                                             Screeched and laughed and laughed.                                                                      Marcie thought him quite insane,                                                                             But threw in a wooden raft.

A breeze picked up and carried smoke                                                                   And sparks both far and near.                                                                                  And townsfolk noticed something wrong.                                                                 “Does something smell quite queer?”

The flames began to lick the grass,                                                                         So dry from Summer’s drought.                                                                                And spread to all the nearby shrubs!                                                                       Too late to put it out!

The children screamed and ran away.                                                                     They knew that they’d done wrong!                                                                         But Cindy said it HAD been fun,                                                                             And Josie sang a song!

Maxie ate a candy bar                                                                                             And shared a piece with Pete.                                                                                  And Marcie kissed the neighbor boy.                                                                       She thought him rather sweet!

And then the children formed a club                                                                       And marched right into town.                                                                                    But no one came to say Hello!                                                                                 You see, they'd burned it down.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

SYBIL'S CINEMA!... The "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" series; THE WOMEN (1939)...

I've proposed some epilogues to Hollywood to be shown after the credits roll on some well-loved films. Perfect for those stories and characters you just want to go on and on and on…

THE WOMEN (1939): Olga, the manicurist, is fired from the salon for causing yet another scandal among high-society ladies (her 47th warning!!!).... she has managed though to save tons of money from her 25 cent tips and has opened an illegal bookie operation in her basement out in Far Rockaway. Investing her money in a home-made 'beauty cream' called Madame Olga's Blemish-B-Gone, she builds an empire in the 1940s, and licenses 216 Madame Olga's spas across the country through the 50s, 60s, and 70s. She dies at 103 years of age, the first woman billionairess in the United States. Coincidentally, Mrs. Sylvia Fowler ends up selling Avon products door-to-door in Toledo.... she marries a used car dealer named Morris Prowler.... she gardens ….fairly successfully.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]