From “Sybil Bruncheon Plays With Her Food!”…. Chapter 14...

… apropos of Christmas, my cook, Hilda, and I learned from Escoffier that if there's ever an… um, “accident”... in the kitchen, one should quickly "incorporate" it into the meal and serve the results confidently... to the... uh, survivors. And remember!... a good sauce covers a multitude of sins!!... well, and maybe a festive little sprig of holly!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s Christmas Tales For Young and Olde;

Krampus tells a story at Christmas time: "..and so dear little children, the bad man with orange hair said that everyone liked him, and should always do what he told them to. Sometimes he would touch a Mommie in her special place, and tell his friends about it and maybe draw pictures of what he did… Every day he would tell a funny story, and then change the story… and then change the story again… and laugh about it!… or yell.

That's why I finally threw him into the fireplace!… and when he stopped screaming, I made him into a juicy plum pudding! The end.

Now, did you like my little story?... and who would like a piece of my delicious plum pudding??"….

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Sybil Bruncheon's MORE THAN THEY SEEM STORIES... “The Holiday Party"...

Betty Anne was known throughout the neighborhood as the best hostess... no, really, the BEST! It wasn't that she was such a great cook; as a matter of fact, folks laughed behind her back about some of her "food-faux pas"!! Cheez-Whiz on soggy Saltines, Marshmallow Fluff in a fondue, and the time she accidentally served Milk-Bone Biscuits to the Cub Scout troop thinking they were ginger snaps especially designed for Halloween! But all, all was always forgiven because Betty Anne Breitling was so gracious, warm-hearted, and generous with both her home and her own self... no one could resist her!

And so, for this particular Christmas season in 1959, Betty Anne was in full swing! She headed the decorating committee at the church for the Children's Nativity Pageant, and she was in charge of all the music at the Holiday Dance for the local police and fire departments... she arranged the Christmas Tree Fund-Raiser Drive, and came up with the idea for the Come-As-A-Reindeer Pet Contest!! The entire town rocked, ROCKED with joyous laughter over THAT one!!... especially when Millie Ferguson's nine chihuahuas were costumed in their tiny red velvet jackets with white fur collars and pipe-cleaner antlers pulling little Janey's wagon with her Chatty Cathy made up to look like Santa! Needless to say, it was Millie who won First Prize... well, Millie, and Señor Frisco who, with his red rubber nose, triumphed as a miniature Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer!

It was after the Pet Contest (and all the applause and acclaim!) that Millie went home to fix some late-night refreshments for a few special friends who were dropping by for an intimate little Saturday night soirée... There was Kirk Billows, the local aluminum siding salesman, and Frank and Rita Corralson who owned Corralson's Hardware Outlet. They weren't married; they were brother and sister. Frank and Kirk had been “travel pals” for going on 15 years, and Betty Anne and Rita were thinking of moving in together after the first of the year... somewhere on the edge of town with enough land to maybe open the nudist colony they had been hoping for...

Yep! 1960 looked to be the beginning of an exciting new decade, full of adventures for all of them... and when Betty Anne (all in red!) wheeled out her (probably stale!) baloney and Kraft American cheese sandwiches and the remainder cake from Carvel's down the block, the four of them laughed and babbled about what fun they had had at the Pet Contest and how much more they would have when Betty Anne put on her white beard and took each of them on her lap to "talk to Santa"!... Had they been naughty?... or nice? And where was Santa's riding crop???

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Some of my very favorite movie themes of all time...

SENSE and SENSIBILITY (1995) https://youtu.be/Y91tbxWVE-I

THE HOURS (2002) https://youtu.be/Wkof3nPK--Y

THE DaVINCI CODE (2006) https://youtu.be/u5FyRZbqfeM

and SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993) https://youtu.be/YqVRcFQagtI

…watch these clips, and be sure to have your tissues ready...

One of the deepest heartbreaks of my life is that I cannot perform music as beautiful as this... I cannot even imagine what it must be like to actually hear it inside my head and write it on a sheet of paper. What it must feel like to have this kind of beauty inside one's head... and to have been the creator of it…

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*Tour-ette during a faux-Spring warm-up!... but I'm not fooled! 12/2/2021

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Sybil Bruncheon’s Holiday Hospitality Hints!...

... Facebook Friends! Won't you take the time to invite an older person either from the family, or perhaps a lonely neighbor next door to join in your celebrations this season! There are all sorts of festive party games that you can include them in!!!.... even indoor tobogganing!....And nothing says "Merry Christmas" better than your cheerful smile!!!

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From Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas Oddities From Around The World!"...

London, 1939. It was later revealed within the year, that the Dark Lord himself, the Ejector of Nether Gases, and the Maker of Sulfurous Mischiefs had disguised himself as Father Christmas and visited hospitals, schools, orphanages, and even petting zoos in order to endear himself to British children at their most vulnerable. Imagine! The Prince of Eternal Bleakness sitting innocent babes on his sin-riddled lap to whisper in their ears while embracing them with his unholy, unyielding arms... suggesting unnatural acts to the sweetest of sweetlings!... tempting them to do terrible things to their families, their own loving parents and siblings! Yes! Satan himself, although to even say his name is to give him power... And so, with the entire world on the very precipice of catastrophic war yet again, Satan came to earth, and in the guise of childhood's most belovéd figure, to wreak havoc while riding a clown cycle accompanied by a legless Teddy. That alone should have alerted the proper authorities, but no...

And isn't it strangely funny that "SANTA" is actually an anagram for "S-A-T-A-N"?... but no one ever mentions it... do they???

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Sybil Bruncheon's "True Tales Of Tinsel Town":

Jane Fonda, of course, won the Oscar for playing Bree Daniels, a call-girl trying to be an actress in the mystery/thriller KLUTE (1971). Set in NYC it was directed by the great Alan J. Pakula... I, on the other hand, was offered the low-budget slapstick sequel called KLUTTERMAN (1973)... set in Boca Raton and directed by Moe Howard… yes, that Moe Howard, of Three Stooges fame. I was cast as Bris Danielovich... a female rabbi with a fabulous recipe for calamari... Confusion and merriment ensues!!

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!…

“Listen! AGED IN WOOD bombed, and so did your stupid FOOTSTEPS ON THE CEILING!.... now strap on your fat-suit, and get your ass over to Macy's! They only hired you as Santa because I begged them!... well… that… and you're a baritone!!!!"...

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Sybil Bruncheon's Holiday Hollywood Hilarity!...

"Oh, there's a Santa Claus alright! But he died in a cheap hotel fire with two floozies dressed as giant cucumbers!"...

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