*Tour-ette on finally taking down the Christmas tree at the end of January... oh well... 1/29/2022

[Want to see other videos or read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "True Crime Confidential!"... Cruel & Inedible Punishment...

It has just been revealed through recently discovered files that America's justice system may have been involved in brutal, even barbaric experimentation in its prisons. Death penalty controversies have been a hot topic ever since the first implementation of the electric chair back in 1890. The arguments both for and against hanging, the gas chamber, the electric chair, and the firing squad have gone on and on... and people have argued as to why the method of execution should be humane at all. After all, weren't the victims of murder killed horribly, perhaps after an extended time of fear and torture. Why should a murderer be treated with any respect or consideration at all?

But now, it was revealed that the more blood-thirsty of the legal authorities and death penalty proponents actually proposed another more terrifying method... the use of Spam and Jello. Instead of a "final request meal" of the prisoner's choice being given to the condemned, they would be force-fed a hideous recipe from the Ladies' Luncheon chapter of the Pillsbury Happy Homemakers Cook Book, or a Perky Picnic Party Treat from Betty Crocker. Additional ingredients in various recipes included, carrot shavings, celery bits, mini-marshmallows, assorted seeds and nuts, slivers of cabbage slaw, and bits of cold cuts, olives, pineapple, cantaloupe, peppers, onions, gherkins both sweet or sour, and of various cheeses both imported and domestic. Layering with mayonnaise was an additional option... along with garnishes of ice berg lettuce.

On the day of execution, the convicted man (or woman!) would be escorted to the death chamber. He would be surrounded by witnesses and reporters seated at small café tables, perhaps with little bud-vases or votive candles. But he might be filled with terror at the first sight of the hideous dish even as it was wheeled into the death cell by the prison chef and the wait-staff. Often the prisoners would beg, bargain, or plead, shrieking in terror and praying as they were dragged over to the small enamel table on its squeaky iron wheels. Then the bent prison-issue fork would be wedged into the condemned's trembling hands and the death-napkin tucked under his gibbering chin. It might take four or five burly guards to subdue him and force him to take the first mouthful... oh, horrible! HORRIBLE!... the drooled chewing, the reluctant swallowing, the mumbled gagging, or the gagging mumbles... whatever... only to be followed again and again... and again... until finally... the struggling and the whimpering... stopped. Silence. And the death chamber looking like a sweet little restaurant, perhaps in Greenwich Village or in a charming little back-alley in Poka-Ma-Hola, Idaho.... except with a gurney, a medical examiner, and a body slumped over at table 13... with a heart-shaped and quivering, nearly finished Be-My-Valentine Egg & Spam Surprise.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

*Tour-ette after the Nor'easter! Snow Shovel Saturday! I feel like a kid again!! 1/29/2022

[Want to see other videos or read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Hysterical Hollywood Histories"... the Creamsicle Trio...

(photo of happier times courtesy of Paul Norman)

... ah, yes! The famous Creamsicle Trio! Known for their occasional appearances on the Lawrence Welk Show, Arthur Murray's TV Party Time, and at various county fairs and 4H Club Jamborees, the Creamsicle Trio had an "on-again-off-again" career from 1954 to 1959.

Originally from Pumpa-Pootah, Iowa, the Nesselroth sisters (Brenda Marie, Fiona Fay, and Gert) started singing in the cradle. Their large extended family marveled at their caterwauling, always on key and in three part harmony right around breast-feeding time. It wasn't long before farmhands, mill workers, and traveling salesmen came a-calling to see the triplets, and they soon became the stars of more than one Sunday church service. The Baptists, Methodists, Adventists, and Lutherans all shared the triplets, booking them at staggered hours from 7:30am to late afternoon year after year, Sunday after Sunday... and finally, at 18 years of age, they were auditioned for the Ted Mack Amateur Hour... and, of course, they won! $811.35!!

They put the money towards a publicist, an agent, three prom gowns in their favorite color (bright sunny orange!), and bus tickets to Duluth to premiere at the Yip 'n' Yodel National Songster Championships! They came in 3rd, but out of fifty-eight entries it wasn't too disappointing, and they won $1162.72 (after fees and taxes) and a contract to tour on the Myron Moskowitz Melody Circuit. Within a month, the manufacturers of Creamsicle brand ice cream offered to sponsor them and buy out their contract from the Moskowitz circuit.

The girls continued to tour the country, but added USO shows with Bob Hope, and appearances on various TV series; Perry Mason (as a three-girl ponzi scheme), Alfred Hitchcock (as a three-girl Siamese triplet), and on the Twilight Zone (as a three-girl ventriloquist act that is eventually killed and partially eaten by their dummies). Soon, orange had become the new favorite color for everything... from fashion to food to interior design and convertibles!

Everything seemed to be going oh-so-well, until the beginning of the free-love 1960s. While touring through Berkeley, California, they were introduced to a world of hippies, love beads, fringe-vests, suede mini-skirts, and marijuana laced with hashish and paprika. Brenda Marie started showing up late for rehearsals and sound checks. Fiona Fay would laugh uncontrollably during scheduling meetings (and even drool). And Gert was found to be secretly dating a boy named Chuck or Charlie Manson who claimed he wanted to be "farmer for Jesus".

It all came to a head on the Ed Sullivan Show when the girls were heard backstage through an open mic to laugh that the public "wouldn't touch those damn Creamsicles if they knew they were made from horses' hooves and old cottage cheese." The studio audience was aghast, and between the screaming caught on-air and the network switchboard lighting up, the girls were snatched from their dressing room and spirited away from a gathering mob on West 54th Street. The news was broken to them on the grey Monday morning... they were finished. Everywhere. FINISHED!... even at the 4H Jamborees. Even in the Jams & Jellies tents...

Whenever and wherever they showed up, people pointed and laughed... or told them that "the Prince of Darkness would swallow them for his diabolical delights"! Their poor parents now became pariahs in their own farm community. And radio ministers preached on Sundays that this was "the wages of sin". Creamsicle even sponsored one national Sunday show called Jolly Bob's Hour of Salvation where Robert "Chuckles" Thumbkin harangued the worshippers in his Cathedral of Cheer and the radio audience at home to reject "preverts and dirty Communists" who made up "false lies about wholesome and nutritious American foods like Creamsicles"...

By 1963, the girls had become nearly homeless. Brenda Marie was working long hours at a lady's lingerie sweatshop attached to the Wayward Women's Shelter on the Bowery. Fiona Fay was occasionally seen in an alleyway nearby on Great Jones Street with a bottle of Muscatel or Woolite... and a sailor. And Gert joined the lower end country fair and carnival circuit as a barker at the Guess Your Weight/Guess Your Age tent... her alto voice and her six pack-a-day Chesterfield habit allowed her to disguise herself as a man. Sad. Very sad.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

*Tour-ette on a snowy final Friday in January waiting for the big Nor'easter! 1/28/2022

[Want to see other videos or read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Hollywood Lines That Might Have Been"...

Birdie Coonan to Margo Channing…

"So the doctor prescribes six packs a day, a quart of Kentucky bourbon, and non-stop basting with butter!... You'll definitely win the Sarah Siddons as Biggest Smoked Ham!"...

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's Silly Cinema Sequels!!...

EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956) starring Hugh Marlowe and Joan Taylor... the little known sequel to ALL ABOUT EVE (1950).

The story follows the tragic career of playwright Lloyd Richards, who, after the failure of his Broadway play "Tippy-Toes On The Back Staircase", loses his marriage to Karen, his friendship to Margo Channing, and any possible romantic involvement with Eve Harrington, Birdie Coonan, Miss Caswell, or Addison DeWitt. Unable to ever get another reservation at the Stork Club, he changes his name and goes out West posing as a scientist or a writer.. or... whatever. He remarries eventually and after a lackluster career with cacti and prairie dogs, he is attacked by aliens and flying saucers. Ray guns, brain-washing, and merriment ensue... along with some property damage. Interestingly, this is his second run-in with people from outer space... well, the third, if you include Max Fabian...

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's “A Few of My Favorite Things”… Agatha Christie's "Hercule Poirot"...

These are some of the most famous portrayals of Agatha Christie's iconic character, Hercule Poirot... and each may have its strong points, entertaining nuances, or annoying weaknesses.

In my opinion, and again, it's only my opinion, (like my feelings about performances of Jane Marple) some are loaded with brilliance, and others are... um... well, nearly unforgivable. In fact, I will not even name them all because of that; sulky, arbitrary, unintelligible, pedestrian, self-indulgent, high-schoolish, frivolously clownish... I'm amazed Christie hasn't clawed her way up through the rocky clay to seize some of them by their throats and drag them to Hell!

On the other hand, for me, there are two ideal Poirots; for the "small screen", it's of course, David Suchet. Interestingly, if you've seen him in other projects, he personally bears no resemblance to the little Belgian detective, short of being... well, short. (He's only 5' 7") He created the small egg-shaped appearance of Poirot by padding himself, changing his center of gravity, slowing his stride to mincing little steps, confining all his gestures to close-to-the-torso hand-fluttering, and reducing his naturally deep manly voice to higher-pitched whispering. His Poirot could almost be accused of being a fey "camp" impersonation of a 1930's "faggot". His fussing and compulsive housekeeping would be off-putting in a lesser actor, but Suchet carries it all off, and charmingly so. Coincidentally, Peter Ustinov, who played Poirot to Suchet's Inspector Japp many years earlier, told Suchet that he could play Poirot himself and gave him some of the Christie books to read... and the rest is history, literally! Suchet holds the record for playing the little detective in more projects, in more venues, and for more years than any other actor... in history!! His mustache alone underwent an extraordinary evolution as can be seen in the reruns!...

... and a Poirot for the "silver screen"? For me, it can only be Albert Finney. When he first appeared in 1974, audiences were startled by Finney's mannerisms, his stylized vocalization and gestures, and the fact that he'd evolved from being a "leading man" (of sorts) into a such an extreme almost freakish character. But director Sidney Lumet loaded the film with such an extraordinary supporting cast, such style and elegance, such beautiful cinematography, editing, and a lush film score to boot, and all confined in the tight compartments of the Orient Express that Finney's Poirot felt perfectly natural. His meticulous fastidiousness even while dying his hair and mustache is perfect. In fact, he was nominated for an Oscar as Best Actor, and the film received another five nominations in other categories.

When the story was remade yet again later in 2017, the budget was 50 times greater; there were spectacular but unnecessary CGI exteriors and vistas, a surprising dearth of style and elegance, and superfluous embellishments... like that absurd mile-wide mustache, and reconfigured into a Van Dyke of all things!!... you notice I haven't mentioned the actor/producer by name... oh well.

I guess it just goes to show that some characters in the history of fiction, no matter how iconic and brilliant, are not "actor proof"... Fortunately, Christie was dead before most of these stumbling attempts were made. A blessing of sorts. Right before she died, she stated that MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (1974) was one of her two most favorite films of her work. The other was WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION (1957)... with no Hercule Poirot!

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

*Tour-ette of my back deck and some indoor gardening tips to banish the "blues"! 1/8/2022

[Want to see other videos or read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]

Sybil Bruncheon's "Hysterical Histories"... Epiphany"...

… also known as Three Kings Day...or The Twelfth Day of Christmas... an alternative history...

Yes, boys and girls, we all know the nice story of how the three wise men (or kings, as some people called them) came to Bethlehem to see the Holy family and the newborn baby in the manger. And even though Jesus was born in a stable with barnyard animals everywhere and bad smells, the three royal visitors brought very valuable gifts to him, (although we never DO actually find out what happened to those gifts later or if they were cashed in for money to help the family out or at least contribute to Jesus going to a good school in a better neighborhood!).

At any rate, over the years, there have been rumors that Melchior, Balthazar, and Caspar might NOT have been the first (or only) three wise men to reach Mary, Joseph, and the blesséd savior on that special night. Here is one of the other possibilities now being suggested by both archaeologists and scriptural scholars.

The three "wise men" were actually called The Three Friskiccinos, a troop of former college pals who majored in beer, babes, and bocci balling at Babylonia U. After they graduated with degrees in macramé tent and brassiere making, they decided to tour the Middle East, and stumbled on the stable in Bethlehem when they needed a wall to relieve themselves behind. Hearing a bunch of animals making barnyard sounds and an annoying little boy banging on a drum, they peeked into a window and saw "the Nativity" scene. As inebriated as they were, they still recognized that something special was happening, and they felt compelled to help out in any way they could. They searched through their luggage for some sort of contributions they might make... and this was the result: from left, they were...

1) Anwar "Hardee Har Har" Gummswalloo who gave a bunch of Sumerian nudey-post cards, "that the little boy would grow up to appreciate hot babes, especially during Spring break on the Dead Sea!",
2) Joralemon "Bunko-Boy" Carobbash, who donated his little black book that "the kid will have a head start on his nursery school classmates when it comes to cool hangouts and the ladies that work there", and
3) Mr. Nancy Hottie-Hotep, popular drag performer from Alexandria who donated three of her bath robes, a 10’ feather boa, a pair of open-toed sandals, and a brand new lip stick "in case your boy grows up to like show-business and perform in front of large crowds!"... apparently, all the gifts were graciously received by the new parents.

[Want to read other fun and funny stories here on SybilSez.com? Just enter any topic that pops into your head in the "search" window on the upper right! Who knows what might come up?...and feel free to share them with your friends!]