BREAKING NEWS from the CNN news desk... "and leave the driving to us!"...

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Steve Bannon and the Alt-Right Travelers Bureau announce the new Whites-Only Bus Lines!… Just think, folks! No more of those meddling minorities sulking about having to move to the back of the bus. Now, with the W.O.B.L. there IS no back of the bus! Every seat is First Class, and only the salted peanuts are second-class! YEEE-HAW!!! Our many travel hubs include Buttsmel, Indiana; Polka-Ma-Hola, Iowa; Monkey-Pudding, Nebraska; Three-Teeth, Arkansas; and Shitzpantz, Ohio. All the romantic stops along the Red States Riviera! Make your reservations at 247-867-7555. That's right, just dial C-H-R-U-M-P-S-K-K-K. The nice man in the pillowcase will tell you how to order…

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Sybil Bruncheon's MORE THAN THEY SEEM STORIES... “The Fifth Wheel"...

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Carlton Ambersen, Henry Stareweather III, Fragard Boothe, and Marvin Rorick had all been school chums from the time they were enrolled in kindergarten in the exclusive Hampton Valley Country Day School to their post-graduate days after the Ivy League Colleges they all attended. They were successful in businesses and professions that brought them wealth, respect, and all the trappings of the good life in New York City. The 1950s were about prosperity and glamour and they intended to celebrate the very best of all of it. And girls? They were everywhere, always attentive, flirtatious, but never playing hard-to-get, which is what most “nice” girls had been brought up to be. So when the four got together for their Martini-Mondays, Tequila-Tuesdays, or the Free-Styling-Fridays for laughs, cocktails, and weekends-away plans, any guests that happened to wander into their circle were extraneous. Even lovely Dianna Wintworth, the “Vaseline heiress” who was good for a few laughs and for the expensive furs and accessories she’d always wear. Carlton would get her drunk, Henry would get her laughing, and Frag and Marv would start trying on her minks or sables and flounce around doing their “high-society dame” routines and lip-synching to Patty Page and Jo Stafford records on the juke box. A good time was had by all, especially when they would roll Dianna into a cab around 8 and start their weekends “at the cabin”.

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Sybil's 31 Days of Halloween: Sybil Bruncheon’s “Hollywood’s Hysterical Histories”

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True Story!... Following a stunning career with the handsomest leading men and the most iconic film scripts, Ingrid Bergman was reduced to lurid, low-budget "nudie-monster-movies" after she was shunned by the studios for her out-of-wedlock affair with Roberto Rossellini. She was basically exiled from Hollywood, going from mega-stardom at Paramount, MGM, and Warner Brothers to a forlorn twilight at studios like Jankowinski Movie-Toons, Blatt Sisters Cinema, and The Creepy-Comedy Contract Players. Seen here in happier days with Humphrey Bogart and Cary Grant, she could only sneak back in under a sad parade of pseudonyms including Ivana Hoope, Lestrina Gargeaux, and Debbie Flatt, shown here with her "co-star/leading man" in I MARRIED A GARDEN GRUB (1951). She followed it with the musical sequels ANTZ IN HER PANTZ (1952), THE PROFESSOR & HIS PUPAS (1953), and a remake of LAURA with Vincent Price titled LARVA (1954). When asked by reporters as she left the country on the S.S. Stockholm, she was quoted as snarling, "Hollywood! Dessa stinkande jävlarna!"..

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Sybil's "31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN!"... Kitties and Costumes!

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"I HAVE chosen my Hallowe'en costume! I'm going to the party as a Caesar Salad.... hand me those damn croutons!!!, and light on the dressing!"...

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A DEBBIE DOWNER ALERT...

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Do you have a Debbie Downer on your Facebook page? I do.. They just look at your photos but don’t read the story and then make stupid or redundant statements! Or they “help” rewrite your story in their comments never having written a story themselves; snark about this or that on YOUR posts but never offer anything of interest on their own pages; tell you how wrinkled, old, fat, or ugly you are while looking like Jabba The Hutt themselves; …Oh, the list goes on and on! And so, in the spirit of upcoming Holiday merry-making and cheer, I’m posting some of my very favorite comments that I’ve gotten! Sadly, there’s only room for ten, but OH how I could fill the room. If nothing else, Debbie Downer is prolific! ….

1) Although 'auburn' COULD be described as a member of the 'brown' family, it still should be considered its own very special color."

2) "I always think that insects shouldn't be referred to as 'bugs' especially as the punchline of a joke."

3) "Some readers may not realize that you're making a joke about the Donner Pass because they actually have had a cannibal experience...either at home..or in grade school."

4) "That isn't your cousin with the eating disorder.... that's Norma Shearer in LADY OF THE NIGHT (1925).... or was it 1926….I know it’s in the 1920s …. Or maybe the 1930s???"

5) "Sybs, I have an allergy to turnips and beets too!...that's why I didn't laugh."

6) "White chocolate isn't really chocolate...technically. Here's a Wiki link to explain it to you"

7) "I like balloons, but only with helium, because a hydrogen balloon can blow up and set a clown on fire. That's what happened to my uncle at my 4th birthday party"

8) "Chill Wills...or Sterling Holloway.....or maybe Sterling Hayden"...

9) "Sibby, your post is too long and I didn't want to spend time reading it when I had to go to work and do a special project for my boss in the accounting department who just got home from a 3 week vacation in Mazatlan...or was it Massachusetts? Anyway, I don’t like to spend time reading elaborate stories, so could you please just post pretty pictures of nice things so we don’t have to read your stories which many of us don’t have time for when we’re busy with other things."

10) "Sybil...Dear sweet Sybil....Although I hesitate to correct you, the Earth is NOT flat and people won't fall off if they drive 300 miles in any one direction, or didn't you know that?...or are you off your meds again?”


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Gilt and Guilty in the Gilded Age... "Speak! Speak!”

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Byron Frithers had been one of the chauffeurs working for the Withingtons for years, and his family went back generations serving their family in various capacities. He knew many tightly-held secrets, and, like a loyal employee, kept them strictly to himself. Because of that, and his family’s unfailing loyalty, he was treated with the greatest affection. He drove every member of the family on every occasion, from the greatest to the smallest… including Beauty Parlor Day which usually fell on Wednesdays. Of course, he kept his opinions to himself and managed never, ever to snicker at their expense. One day, Lady Marjorie’s hair-do reached new heights of absurdity, but he kept his eyes straight ahead and focused only on her conversation and the road ahead. Of course, he did keep thinking to himself, “But that nose has got to go… and the drooling!”.

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Gilt and Guilty in the Gilded Age... "You'll Catch Your Death"

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Lady Maybelle Duckwirth had purchased the extremely rare and expensive 1906 Krieger Electric Landaulet for her husband Roybert on his 63rd Birthday. Imagine! It could go 22 mph in just 2 minutes and only needed to be recharged once a day so that it could run for an entire hour. Roybert was thrilled when the two chauffeurs presented it to him in their ten-car garage. (Two chaffeurs were needed in case of fires and explosions!) Roybert did complain that it seemed like newly invented automobiles seemed to all be open-air, at which point Maybelle burst into tears and sobbed about “ingratitude”, and “the chauffeurs don’t seem to mind”, and “why would you want to spoil the sleek design with a roof”, and “you just don’t want me to show off my new chappeau”, etc., etc. Roybert was taken aback and immediately soothed his wife’s hurt feelings. At that point it began to rain lightly, then quite heavily, and within the week, Lord Duckwirth had died of double pneumonia. Lady Duckwirth later married the 23 year-old chauffeur on the left.

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Gilt and Guilty in the Gilded Age... "The Bumpy Ride"

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Later that very afternoon, Sir Cedric Chalmers plunged over the nearby cliff at Punskins Crossings in that very same one-horse charboose. His young wife, Millie, happened to have stepped out of the little carriage to pick some Forget-Me-Nots for his lapel. Her tears at the inquest and her three fainting spells during the proceedings convinced the all-male-and-elderly jury... despite the fact that she had been married to Sir Cedric for only 28 hours.

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