Sybil Bruncheon's "Thanksgivings Yet To Come!...

... yes, Facebook Friends! In the future, families will STILL be trying to time the turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, glazed carrots, mashed potatoes, green beans, casseroles, dinner rolls, pumpkin, mince, and apple pies....and they'll still be getting it wrong even on Thanksgiving… in 2183 AD.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Thanksgiving Headlines From Around The World!...11/25/2010

GIANT BOSOM ATTACKS NEW JERSEY!!!..... Today, it was confirmed that a massive mammary gland escaped its handlers and attacked various communities as it lumbered unimpeded across the New Jersey countryside. Extensive property damage was followed tragically by injuries and loss of life. Casualties already number over 100, and the death toll has reached 11 with most victims being smothered… although many have been found with smiles on their faces. Former Governor Christie has been conspicuously absent for comment arousing suspicions that the bosom may, in fact, be his!.. authorities, aviation officials, medical personnel, and publishers of cheap nudie-calendars are still trying to determine if it is a left or a right bosom...The police have asked that if you spot the breast in question, you use extreme caution in approaching it. It should be considered extremely dangerous, and possibly armed… or lactating. Do not in any way try to handle it as it may become highly agitated and/or aroused.... Details at 6... 8mm film and lubricant at 11...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "A Whole Month Of THANKSGIVING!"... Other Lands, Other Tastes!

True Story! You look at this photo and see a very unattractive person and two unappetizing side dishes!! But did you know that in Papua New Guinea, this is an actual menu at an expensive restaurant for an elegant entrée and two delicious side dishes at a Thanksgiving banquet?... Well, it is!

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Sybil Bruncheon's "A Whole Month Of Thanksgiving!"... Abundance??

Abundance, even in a time of want! Friends, did you know that during the Great Depression of the 1930s so many American families were facing insecurity, and even hunger and homelessness? All across the wide country, fathers tried to hold on to their jobs while mothers struggled to stretch a dollar as far as it would go... even to maintaining a staff of servants who could keep the house clean, the gardens tended, the laundry washed and ironed, and the meals cooked and presented properly! If there was any corner to be cut, it might be in substituting different dietary choices for traditional ones. It wasn't spoken of widely, but, instead of an expensive turkey from the trusty butcher for Thanksgiving, Mother might substitute a family pet. And you know, it wasn't always so stressful or heartbreaking either... especially if it was a neighbor’s dog from down the street.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Our Thanksgiving Heritage!... Pilgrims & Pageants in Perrysburg"...

Boys and Girls, some of the best things of the Holiday season are the school plays that young people produce for their parents and teachers in small towns all over our wonderful country. Over the years, I have been so pleased to see many of them; one of them remains permanently... um... etched into my mind. I was on a dinner theatre tour of THE INCREDIBLY LOVELY AND WITTY WOMAN WHO CAME TO DINNER (a rewritten play by an ex-boyfriend of mine and his gay pal!), and I happened to be in a charming little town named Perrysburg for Thanksgiving. The Mayor generously invited the entire cast both to his holiday dinner and the theatre afterwards at the local high school! The title of the play was OUR PILGRIM FOREFATHERS & THEIR FRIENDLY INDIAN RECEPTION IN THE NEW WORLD.

The audience settled into their seats, reading and ruffling their mimeographed programs with the loose staples but the Heavenly smell! (oops!... have I said something?!) And after some light chatter and hellos, the lights came down in the Wilbur & Orville Wright auditorium, and the overture began. Well, it wasn't quite an overture... more like rhythmic and fairly emphatic drumming and some flute-tooting and dried gourd shaking. Suddenly from both sides of the stage, several young men "dressed" as "Indians" came out dancing, whooping, and jumping about which soon became very feverish, and, if I may say so, very athletic. The lighting became very orange and flickered as if perhaps this tribal ceremony was being lit by a huge camp fire (very clever as we audience members nodded and whispered appreciatively!), and then the Indians began to wrestle each other and throw each other about. The actors began to perspire heavily, and really conveyed the earnestness of their commitment to the roles they had taken on. Round and round the Indians swirled, screeching and bellowing, and even charging audience members in the front rows and up and down the aisles. Ladies in the audience and gentlemen of sensitive natures pulled out hankies or kleenex tissues to fan themselves. This whole tumultuous scene continued on for about 30 minutes or so, building to a crashing, screeching, sweating, drumming, fluting, gourding crescendo!!... and then... BLACKOUT!

The florescent auditorium lights came up, and the entire cast of young men strode out on stage for a curtain call. They bowed, smiling to the polite, friendly, but somewhat bewildered applause. And they were given 2 1/2 curtain calls, before the curtain finally came down. The Mayor and his wife, along with the Town Council members were very proud of the pageant and were eager to hear our "Big City" opinions of their local artistry. We, of course, were generous in our praise and even went backstage to shake hands with the cast. Then it was off to after-theatre drinks and a light dessert before we returned to The Commodore Perry Hotel.

I shall never forget how we cast members gathered in the morning to chat over breakfast... and the questions! Where were the Pilgrims? At what point was the "the friendly reception" or indeed any evidence of "the new world"? Was the tribe that first met the Pilgrims completely devoid of any female members?... or had they died in some terrible catastrophe? Our stage manager asked where was the scenery? There hadn't been a teepee, a wigwam, a birch bark canoe, or even a birch tree. And Mrs. Carruthers, our wardrobe lady, mentioned that she never saw a moccasin, a headdress, or even a single feather... "Not even war paint!!"... and we all had to agree!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Our GAY American Heritage... That’s Show Biz!":

Did you know that "Bubbles Dequeere" was the secret drag name that Paul Revere used after the Colonies won the Revolution?... and that Alexander Hamilton opened The Yank-Mee-Doodle Dandy Inn...... the country's first Gay Bar!...

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A New Sybil's "Who'z Dat?"... ALAN RICKMAN (February 21, 1946 – January 14, 2016)...

Who can say why the passing of a stranger can be so heartbreaking?... an artist whose work has changed your life and perhaps not for "the role he was best remembered for"! I saw Alan Rickman walking alone on the street many years ago, and didn't want to interrupt his private time to gush over how much his talent meant to me. His Hans Gruber in DIE HARD (1988), homely-handsome, suave, witty, wry, merrily villainous, and the perfect foil to the goofy, fumbling-but-direct, all-American yahooist John McClane of Bruce Willis' was an astounding debut in American film! Unforgettable!.... and of course, then there's the Harry Potter juggernaut...

But for me, the role that changed my life was Rickman's Colonel Brandon in SENSE AND SENSIBILITY. He had none of the fireworks, glamour, or even the screen time as his co-stars, but I can't think of anyone who could have communicated so much through the silences, the soulful glances, the pauses, and his measured deliveries done like a viola being played in another room. I found myself looking at him and studying his “listening” more than the other characters even as they spoke.

I had no idea he was ill, and his passing has been described as fairly sudden. All I can do at this point is to borrow the much-used quote, "A great light has gone out.".... and it has indeed in the world of film and theatre according to the messages being posted by his compatriots. His many fans will miss him for Snape, but for me it will be for all those quiet moments in his most subtle performances, and the unexpected beauty, passion, and sexiness of his soul that came through those oh-so expressive eyes... A great light indeed.

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Sybil Bruncheon's Breaking News from the CNN News Desk!...

Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio and Rep. Devin Nunes of California left the congressional hearings today shrieking and yowling about which one is the more savage with the Democrats, more terrifying in their search for conspiracies, and more deserving of cuddling and snacks from the president tonight! Each has threatened to tear witnesses limb from limb and to scorch the press with flames and smelly gas... (from both ends). Ambassadors, under-secretaries, and even fellow gop committee members have been seen fleeing with smoke inhalation, singed clothing, and even 2nd and 3rd degree burns. Still, with so many more days of testimony scheduled, there is no guarantee that either a winner will be declared between them or that Washington will survive the contest. The potus has tweeted that he has never been happier with a pet he has rescued from the local ASPCA. "Who wants some f*cking dog like Obama and Bush and those other Commie saps. I got something that'll EAT there damn dogs!". Details at 6. Unguentine at 11.

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Sybil Bruncheon’s 30 Days of Thanksgiving: LAW & ORDER... The Thanksgiving Episodes!...

Well, it’s happened again, and I’m so honored! The LAW & ORDER producers have acknowledged my contribution to all the various franchises of the series and the fact that I have appeared more than any other actress in their opening dead-body sequences for their Thanksgiving episodes. Among them are the following:

1) Macy’s fine lingerie buyer found stuffed into the giant “Tom The Turkey” float on Thanksgiving morning during the parade set-up. She had been strangled with a pair of footie-jammies with Scooby Doo on them.

2) Starbucks barista in elf costume found face down in a vat of pumpkin-spice-mint-choclate-nutmeg-cinnamon-holly-pine-needle-mistletoe decaf cappuccino… with red, white, and green sprinkles… but no whipped cream!... an important clue in the final scene.

3) Lady pilgrim in the Radio City Rockettes tribute to the Mayflower. As the full scale facsimile of the good ship sailed onstage in Act II to the Rockettes dancing to “Over The River And Through The Woods”, I could be clearly seen being keelhauled underneath the prow… the entire theatre descended into a 1000 children shrieking in terror as we cut to the first commercial.

4) Notorious pole-dancer painted and hung as a candy-cane in the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and discovered on live television in front of millions of viewers by Al Roker as he goofs around with Hota Kotb over spiked cider and puns about “his North Pole”.

5) Prominent New York brain surgeon found in the Teuscher Chocolate window display as one of eight reindeer dragging Santa’s sleigh. I had been killed by having antlers driven into each of my temples… and then sprinkled with glitter… and draped with garlands

6) High-society dame discovered face-down inside the wedding rings case in Tiffany’s, stabbed to death with a silver-plate letter opener from Zales…

7) Carvel Ice Cream Store owner found dead in her frozen dairy case having been smothered with three Pudgy The Punkin’ cakes shoved down her throat and into her nose. Her eyes and teeth had been replaced with raisins.

8) Pleasant house wife from Sunnyside, "belovéd by everybody", found brined beyond recognition and full of Stove Top stuffing and celery... unchopped! And you know what that means!

I can’t begin to tell you how proud and humbled I am by my career as a corpse in such a record-breaking and respected television serious. The Screen Actors Guild has now proposed having my hand and footprints put into a large tray of sweet potato casserole out in front of Sardi’s during their Thanksgiving dinner special… BOTH seatings! ($89.00 per guest. Reservations recommended)

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Sybil Bruncheon's Game Time!... The Skanks Of Christmases Past (and Present!)

Could you name all these Skanks and what they're infamous for? (clockwise from top left)

1)    Meghan McCain – Daughter of Senator John McCain and conservative panelist on The View.

2)    Linda Tripp – Gal Pal of presidential sex-intern Monica Lewinsky

3)    Myah Autry – deranged hootchy-kootcher who climbed into the lion enclosure at the Bronx Zoo

4)    Jeanine Pirro – TV judge and FOX commentator

5)    Joyce Mitchell – former prison employee who helped two murderers escape from Dannemora Prison

6)    Kim Davis – former Kentucky County Clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples

7)    Megyn Kelly – Former TODAY show anchor who was fired for insensitive “black face” comments

8)    Nikki Haley – Former Trump appointee as US Ambassador to the UN

9)    Mary Anne Trump – Mother to the 45th POTUS…

… enough said, right?

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