Sybil Bruncheon’s CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: Papier-mâché Santa Booties!

....So sweet!!!.... I remember getting these from my grandmother filled with candy..... Sadly, there was one particular Winter where things had gotten quite tough financially for my family, and we actually had to wear our papier-mâché booties out into the snowdrifts. Some local children started to make fun of me, and I turned on them in my newspaper-coat with the Life Magazine-lapels, and scornfully told them that my wardrobe was the latest fashion from Maison Dis-Posette and that these were French couture shoes from the "Vicomte Papier Mâché Chaussures Pour Le Fabuleux"!!.... They were all non-plussed, and one of them began to cry a little. Even though I had won, I still decided to slap them around a little.. just to make sure the "lesson took".... and… well, I may have stolen some of their lunch money too...or a Mickey Mouse watch. I can't remember...(I was twenty-three or so…)

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas In Other Lands!"... It's the thought that counts!

Sybil's "Christmas In Other Lands!"....Darlings! So many of you write me lovely notes and ask questions about all sorts of things; flower arranging, words that begin with "Z", napkin origami, blue food, ...um..."Lady Matters".... and even holiday stories...
For those of you that have always wondered if Santa makes an effort to bring gifts to children all over the world...EVERY child!..no matter WHERE they live!! The answer is YES! Here we see the special presents being made for children in Borneo... and certain remote sections of Papua New Guinea!!

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Sybil Bruncheon’s “Christmases (and OTHER Holidays) Past!”… Thank you, Hanukkah!

Darlings!! I hope your Hanukkah is going beautifully!! And what a clever Holiday too.... Several days of celebration with a different theme each day so if you're a bit cranky one night, you can always cheer up on the next! None of that one-shot-and-you're-done-Christmas-nonsense.

My own mother, whom I've told you all about repeatedly, often was perfectly vile, most especially on Holidays, and if you had a rotten one, well..... tough luck. I'm reminded of the time she dressed as Pochahontas (or as she called herself "Poke-My-Hontas") for a huge Thanksgiving we had been planning for months. She insisted on reciting the entire length of Longfellow's "The Song Of Hiawatha" with an emphasis on the "Loooooong".... and when she got to the line about "Gitchee Gumee", my 5 year old niece couldn't resist yelling out, "You certainly ARE GINCHY-GLOOMY, GRANDMA!" at which point a mince pie fight broke out.... Victims were finding raisins and currents in the most embarrassing places for days afterwards…. Mostly in their…um… ginchies…

On one particular Christmas, Mother dressed as Santa Claus with a huge sack full of toys, and the entire family thought her medications had finally rendered us a joyous holiday..... but she insisted in coming down the chimney where she had set a fire just minutes before. She managed to burn the entire house and the adjoining garden sheds and arboretum to the ground. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured, not even her, but when we had her taken away to Bellevue at midnight, she told the nice ambulance attendants that she wasn't Santa, but rather a giant chestnut and that Mel Tormé had told her to roast herself. At that point, she actually DID look like some sort of nut that had been exposed to the elements, although she appreciated that the strait-jacket was slimming!

...anyway, I want to say a big "Thank you!" to all my Jewish friends for their sensible approach to a Winter holiday.... There of course, is STILL the problem of the traditional menorah and all those candles, but we've solved it by confining Mother to a sweet little flashlight-menorah that the nice Campfire Girls rigged up for us as part of their "Fire-Safety for Fretful Families Jamboree". Sadly, their cookies don't compare to the Girl Scouts…   

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Sybil Bruncheon's Christmas Celebrations From Around The World... Zanesville, Ohio!...

The Veteran's Hall in conjunction with the local 4H Club, the Sons Of Italy, the Kiwanis Club, and the Touch-Mee/Feel-Mee Petting Zoo have all decided to produce this year’s Christmas pageant for the public. The script is an updated version of the classic Nativity. Here we see the arrival of the "three wise men"; they are from left to right "Meyer the Kosher Shoemaker", "Prince Theo of Pixie-Ville", and "Sandy the Man-Woman Who Smells Like Pumpkin-Spice Air Freshener".... the crowd in the background represents various barnyard animals “milling and low-ing” to and fro from their office jobs on the Holy Night. Oh, and there down in the front left of the photo is Mrs. Enid Gruler, the mayor’s wife, who is playing the Virgin Mary for the 65th time…

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmases Past!"... My new ball gown!

My dear pal, Kimberly Kenney, commissioned a new Christmas ball gown for me! It was just BEAUTIFUL!!...and it fit me perfectly!... There were just a couple of problems; it itched terribly, people kept tripping over my extension cord, and squirrels kept trying to get too friendly around my...um..."lady place"!!....I guess they were looking for nuts! JEEEESH! 

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Sybil Bruncheon's "CHRISTMASES PAST!"... Ding-A-Ling!!!

.... this video clip is rarer than hens' teeth. How many of you have even heard of "THE DANGEROUS CHRISTMAS OF RED RIDING HOOD" (1965) let alone seen it? Starring a remarkably frenetic Liza Minnelli (sniff, sniff), the incomparable Cyril Ritchard (of Captain Hook fame) as the sophisticated and misunderstood wolf, the perfectly pallid Vic Damone as a distracted woodsman, the rock group The Animals as a wolf pack, and the NYC ballet company as all the forest animals and townspeople! The original color print of the complete Christmas special on ABC and sponsored by General Electric has been lost (some say that Minnelli herself bought all the copies and destroyed them). The music and lyrics are by Styne and Merrill, fresh from their mega-success of FUNNY GIRL.
Click here: https://youtu.be/IKm1zRywsuI

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Sybil Bruncheon’s "CHRISTMASES PAST!"... the chemistry set...

....and it was then that Santa realized that a chemistry set for Billy had been a bad idea!!.... who would have thought that an 8-year-old would figure out how to make chloroform??....

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Sybil Bruncheon's "CHRISTMASES PAST!"... цукерка корму..

...and then, the little children of цукерка корму tried to console their village Santa who had been so hideously disfigured in the scented-candle factory accident! He was afraid that he would make the sweetlings scream and cry when they came to ask him for their special Christmas wishes...and maybe kick and scratch him...or even stab him. But NO!...every child knew that he was still their own special Santa.... and that now, instead of smelling of vodka and kippers, he would smell like Glade's "Holiday Pumpkin Spice Caprice"... and that made them all even happier!!!

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CHRISTMAS MUSIC: Guilty Pleasures & Dirty Confessions... "Der Bingle"..

I know it's very tacky, but I start listening to the Music Choice "Sounds of the Seasons" channel on cable during Thanksgiving week.... As silly as it is to many people, I sometimes just enjoy the simple pleasure of Christmas carols to ease my mind and lower my stress.

Among my favorites is just about anything Bing Crosby sings at this time of year! I know that makes me a Lawrence Welk-ite in the eyes of most of you, but “Der Bingle” practically owned Christmas as his own particular franchise. Irving Berlin certainly thought so! Imagine, Bing’s version of “White Christmas” is among the most profitable and widely sold pieces of music of all time! For me, one of the very happiest and most fun to lip-sync to around the house is “Mele Kalikimaka”….with the Andrews Sisters on top of it all!!! Hula Heaven!! Now where’s my grass skirt and coconut brassiere?? …and I need a little paper umbrella for my Mai Tai too!!

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CHRISTMAS MUSIC: Guilty Pleasures & Dirty Confessions... Kate Smith..

CHRISTMAS MUSIC: Guilty Pleasures & Dirty Confessions... Kate Smith..

I know it's very tacky, but I start listening to the Music Choice "Sounds of the Seasons" channel on cable during Thanksgiving week.... As silly as it is to many people, I sometimes just enjoy the simple pleasure of Christmas carols to ease my mind and lower my stress.

Among my favorites is “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas” by just about anybody, especially if they sing the counter-point song "Pine Cones and Holly Berries" also written by Meredith Willson!!! (I love two songs meshing beautifully through each other.)

But if I had to pick one of my favorite versions, it would be Kate Smith’s. All her 200 lb., deep contralto, swingin’ phrasings barreling along with a hearty combination of sincerity and apple pie a la mode!... (heavy on the a la mode!) Like having a Mother Superior, a beloved Irish police sergeant, and a lady gym teacher all rolled into one professional wrestler telling you about “the sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow”….. and she definitely understood the meaning of “sturdy”…. You betcha!!!

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