Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Brooklyn Heights, NY.

Little Brucie Farnsworth had always had a sensitive and artistic nature. On his first birthday he had pointed quite obviously to a living room designed by Angelo Donghia in his mother's Architectural Digest magazine and said his first words, “Dong! DONG!”. On his second birthday, he asked if Mario Buatta had designed his cake when it was wheeled out with bright frosting flowers cascading down the side in a generous spiral. By three, he could identify differences between I. M. Pei, Bauhaus, Phillip Johnson, and Frank Lloyd Wright buildings, and had written fan letters to both Frank Gehry and Richard Meier….in crayon!... which were ANSWERED!

It was during his fourth Easter that little Brucie had his nervous breakdown which hospitalized him til the following June. It wasn't the terrifying Bunny costume that Uncle Fred had put on! It was the hideous brown-ish Gainsborough-esque upholstery on Grandpa's dowdy wing-chair and how it clashed with the lurid colors and cheap printing of the dining room's faux-Monet wallpaper!... and velvet paintings of Venice and the Last Supper! The last thing the entire family heard before he fainted was Brucie's screeching voice, "MY EYES!!!....dear God, MY EYES!!!"... NYC Child Services was immediately called by the ambulance attendants reporting possible child abuse in the household. Brucie’s family was led away in handcuffs in front of the entire neighborhood and pelted with Cadbury chocolate egg creams and stale marshmallow peeps, the really hard, dried out kind….which hurt.

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Springtime… In Other… um… Places"...

Nancy Kuppermann so enjoyed the arrival of Spring! Like many housewives in her community, she did all her Spring cleaning; cleaned out the basement, attic, and garage, and even painted her husband’s study and a guest bedroom and bathroom… all before she started on the gardening. She and her best pal, Karen Folger, met on Saturday and picked out tulip, hyacinth, daffodil, and jralanthus bulbs, and, after an hour or so of planting together, they went grocery shopping. Brocklezezzer’s had a special in their Wonderful World of Salad Dressings section, and the girls didn’t want to miss out on both the variety and the bargains. So many wonderful flavors and regional specialties from all different parts of their world.

But that’s how it was in a place that was strictly vegetarian. Nancy had married a Chicory, and Karen’s husband was from a long line of Arugalas. Most women eventually ate their husbands around their second or third anniversary, and certainly no later than their 4th. They’d be too woody or even wilted by then… NO! A really sumptuous husband should be fresh, leafy green, rinsed thoroughly and served with a luscious blue cheese, or, in the case of Mr. Folger, a tangy Caesar! After all, he was really Italian, wasn’t he?… and that was how Springtime was celebrated on the planet JZzelelry 6… in the “Vega” system…

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....from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Mother and my diet...

Happy Easter, Darlings!… here's a photo of Mummie as a very little girl when she modeled for the Louis Sherry Chocolate Company... Sadly, instead of letting me be proud that I was in the Ladies Home Journal, my mother used this photo to frighten and harangue me about my weight over the next 30 years. "Look, Sybil! JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU WEIGH MORE THAN TWO LITTLE BUNNIES! Fatty! Fatty! YOU ARE A FATTY!!!!"...

And you wonder why I later hit the gym seven-days-a-week and became the Daughters of the Mayflower Ladies Bodybuilding Champ for all of New England!

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Tour-ette from Lambertville, NJ and New Hope, PA on a lovely Spring Saturday! 3/27/2021 (part 3)

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....from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Wauseon, Ohio...

Breaking News! TREE EATS BENCH! ...with the warmer weather, well... Sadly, Mrs. Veronica Cromandley did not get out of the way in time... sitting here for the last 17 years after her husband Cyrus passed away, she made a point of feeding the pigeons stale cookie crumbs from her artisanal bakery The Purdy Little Pie Palace. Apparently, she dozed off some time last month, and the old Yankee elm on the corner of Jasper Avenue and Swankton Blvd. slowly consumed the bench, Mrs. Cromandley, her crumbs, and her new lunch bonnet from Lilly Daché!....and it was in the new very stylish "Bonjour Printemps" shade that Paris is raving about. When called to the scene, police and groundskeepers found a bit of netting and some feathers next to a stained Lilly Daché label. No remains were recovered. The family has requested that in lieu of flowers, people donate money and/or Parker House rolls to the Audubon Society.

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Tour-ette from Lambertville, NJ and New Hope, PA on a lovely Spring Saturday! 3/27/2021 (part 2)

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Tour-ette from Lambertville, NJ and New Hope, PA on a lovely Spring Saturday! 3/27/2021 (part 1)

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Tour-ette from my little driveway-garden!..."Do you have a reservation, sir?... or madam?" 3/27/2021

So much for bird-feeder technology…

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From Merlin Monroe's "Legacy news"... Sybil as a child at the Café Papillon Dérangé...

Oh, how I hoped I would grow up to be Jane Austen… or maybe Elizabeth Bennett!

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Sybil's "Big Stars On The Little Screen": Bob Ross...

Bob Ross had a speaking voice as effective as Thorazine...and his Do-It-At-Home painting programs were prescribed nationwide by the National Institute of the Emotionally Inconvenienced... within 68 seconds of the beginning of any one of his shows, entire asylums of shrieking lunatics, serial arsonists, and ferocious sex offenders would be curled up dozing comfortably and sucking their own thumbs. Finally, his shows were simply looped on closed circuit televisions, saving millions on mood altering and anti-psychotic medications. Sadly, it was discovered that over-exposure to his "happy little trees", "giggling little waterfalls", and "frisky little squirrels" could result in paralysis and even death. A ward nurse in Paramus left her patients alone and unattended with a Bob Ross marathon on PBS for a full eight hour shift, and returned to a catastrophic loss of life...and/or eyesight. She was tried and convicted of willful negligence, medical malpractice, and assault with a cheerful little brook… with intent to kill.

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